Mark Beaver
March 2019
Mark
Beaver
,
RN
Acute Psychiatric Unit - APU
Mann-Grandstaff VA Medical Center
Spokane
,
WA
United States

 

 

 

In this small space and I cannot fully go into detail of the situation. I disagreed with the information flow of the needs of the patients given to staff to relay to care providers. This started the previous night. Not one but two nurses helped me out. The ultimate resolution better yet the ultimate lessons learned is an issue. I really struggle with letting things go. And both nurses walked me through the conflict where I could really let go. "Let it go" meaning calling it good at its proper place and not dwell on it or ruminate.
The readers of this don't know me from anything. I don't deal with conflict management at all. I drink my anger away until it builds up and builds up till I explode. When this happens, I take care of it, leaving no prisoners and no one gets by without being blasted. This is one of the many reasons I am here. Alcohol is starting to pickle my brain. Sometimes I get lost. It all started on a normal day with my doctor asking questions like every day. Really simple, really easy - my doctor is a sweet, sweet doctor. When we first checked in, I was in a fog. Everyone usually checking in is in a fog. I was medicated and detoxing, no doubt, but I am very good providing information to staff. Details are what used to make me successful. Your staff is doing a wonderful job trying to walk me through this, even in my fog.
The patients in the morning group fill out the "Daily Mental Health Recovery Plan." In my clouded fog, I misunderstood this form. Even though I was in a fog I struggled filling these out in my haze. I had put in details, took notes and referred to it consistently. My memory has been non-existent and is just now coming somewhat back, that is the only way after five days I could write this. It is hard but I am somewhat staying focused on one thing. As luck would have it, I was discussing a topic that I needed the details on. The doctor called the desk and asked for the paper and was notified it had been shredded. The doctor was a little upset but I was flat mad. The doctor kept telling me to "let it go". My brain is pickled and didn't know what that even meant. Let it go, what? So, I left agitated and angry letting it eat at me. This is when Mark comes in. It was clear to the world I was not having a good day. I spoke very little so staff and patients were genuinely concerned. I was angry because I was writing my heart down on these things thinking they were being used, in a different manner. After all, I was in a fog when I first came in, this is the revelation I had. I was going to express my feelings but not increase my anxiety in the group. I chose to speak to Mark in private versus public. Then Mark and I took the conversation to a safe place. I was still very angry, without details and I don't know if Mark even realized the impact of the conversation, details are insignificant now that it's water under the bridge. The following occurred:
I politely and professionally asked to speak with him in private.
Mark kindly accepted it and we went to a safe space.
Mark let me vent like a man, thick-skinned - you know.
When I was finished, Mark started the how's and why's. I started to interrupt, but Mark stopped me and stated that he allowed me to speak and simply asked if I would let him speak.
The resolution came when Mark said, we will make a copy and give it to you every morning and every night. Mark did it in a way that gave me confidence. Mark was a real confidant simply. Normally stuff like this will consume me but Mark helped me without getting offended, I was then able to sleep well, great job Mark!