I’m only now finding the strength to write this, though I’ve wanted to since we were in the hospital with Dad. He was transported to the emergency room at Mid Coast on Friday. He was admitted that day and moved to the ICU early on Sunday. It seemed Dad had pneumonia at first, but he quickly deteriorated. When he moved to the ICU, my sister, mom, aunt and uncle, my husband, and I met Abby. She was not only an amazing nurse with his medical needs, but she provided all of us with a sense of home and calm that is hard to explain. He was obviously very sick, but he was also obviously in the best possible hands.

My brother arrived that afternoon. Dad spent the day with his family. He talked to all four of his grandkids and asked them about their lives. He couldn’t eat much, but Abby let him have a cookie and a Diet Coke – his favorite things. Abby tended to Dad with ease, with skill, and with a level of compassion I had never felt before. She explained everything she was doing and answered all of our questions – and we had many – especially after the family conversation about what was likely to happen. Abby sat with us for that, too.

Dad was intubated early on Monday morning. The nurses who rotated in were kind and competent, but we were all relieved when Abby returned. I hugged her without even thinking about it. She was already family. As we sat by Dad’s side for hours on end, Abby continued to talk to him and explain everything she was doing. She learned about who he was as a man, a dad, a husband, and a grampy. She noticed we moved the blankets so his feet would be exposed (the way he liked it), and then she made sure to do that every time she adjusted him or his blankets. She bathed him with tenderness. She joked with him and spoke to him like the human he was, even though he couldn’t respond.

The entire team that treated Dad was terrific. They were professional and attentive to Dad and all of us. On that Friday morning, after Dad didn’t respond, I asked Abby to stay while the team of doctors came in. She replied that she was hoping to stay, and I felt at ease. She made his final moments comfortable, putting Chapstick on his lips and wet sponges in his mouth until the very end. She worked around us as she had all week, a quiet angel amidst us.

Abby helped me find the strength to be strong for my family. She helped me understand what was happening so I could help my family make an impossible decision. I don’t really know how to explain it still, but Abby is simply remarkable.