May 2022
Allison
McKinley
,
RN, BSN
Dignity Health Chandler Regional Medical Center- Float Pool
Medical Solutions
Chandler
,
AZ
United States
I cannot say for certain, but I believe looking at our full faces (with no PPE on) while feeling the loving touch of another person, my father-in-law may have gotten as good of a sendoff as we could have given in person.
In December, "F" was taken to the Emergency room at Chandler Regional. He was very disoriented and was unable to do basic things like eat, drink or take medicine. Having just returned from rehab after a UTI, we were stunned to see his confusion at this level and knew something was wrong. My husband met him at the ER and stayed with him while they assessed him. It became apparent that he was very ill. We soon received the diagnosis that our sweet Dad had COVID, something we had been working hard as a family to protect him from for almost two years. "F" was admitted to the hospital and eventually moved to another room, where he remained for the duration of his hospital stay. He wasn't able to recover from COVID. The doctors suspected he had another underlying infection, but he was never stable enough to do the required tests. We were grateful for the hospital's policy that allowed family members to come and see him for 30 minutes each day in full PPE. Unfortunately, my husband also contracted COVID, and I caught it a few days later. We were devastated not to be able to be with him at all during his stay, especially since my husband was the one who had POA and was usually with him the most if he needed medical care. However, the nurses were very kind and patient as he called daily to get updates and check in on his care. One nurse, in particular, was exceptional. Her name was Allison. Allison was especially thorough when we would call, reading the doctors reports and helping to clarify anything we didn't understand. My sister-in-law, visited "F" a few times and lastly near Christmas Day. This particular visit was difficult for her as she could see her Dad's health was not improving and that he was suffering from all we were trying to do to make him well. Allison was there to comfort my sister in law, offering a warm hug and compassion as she cried outside the door of her Dad's room. She also was the one who asked her to talk to the family and share the current state of "F"'s health. My sister in law called us that night on the way home, sadly expressing her concern that the time was nearing to say goodbye. My husband contacted Allison again and she went over everything with him that the doctors were saying, and that the family should be contacted if he did not improve over the next 24 hours. It was hard to hear, but he relayed all of that to the family, and we all agreed that if Dad had not improved by the next day, it was time to take him off the oxygen. Unfortunately, there was not any improvement. After much discussion, we realized that no one would be able to be at the hospital with Dad when the oxygen was removed. For some of the family, there were personal reasons to keep them away, and for others, there were health reasons. Regardless, my husband was so distraught that he could not be there because he had COVID and shared this sadness with Allison. Allison was quiet for a moment and then said that she could spend some extra time with "F" that day and that if my husband was up for it, she could use her phone to Facetime with us when she removed the oxygen. This was obviously not the same as what it would have been like had we been there, but it was the very best and most kind option she could offer. Our gratitude is not something I can put into words. Shortly after that, Allison called us from her phone. My husband and I were able to see his Dad and talk to him. My sister-in-law, and her husband, were also able to talk to him through the speaker of my phone. We all told him how much we loved him and how much we would miss him. We also told him that it was okay to go and join his wife, in heaven. We promised to take care of each other and gave him the freedom to go if it was time. As we did this, Allison lovingly stroked his face and his hair while she made sure he was comfortable and resting easy. I cannot say for certain, but I believe looking at our full faces (with no PPE on) while feeling the loving touch of another person, my father-in-law may have gotten as good of a sendoff as we could have given in person. Within minutes of being removed from oxygen, my father-in-law passed away. Thanks to the kind and compassionate care of Allison, he left this world with the voices of his children in his head and the eyes of his son upon his face. We will never forget what she did to help us make the best of a terrible situation, and I think, above all else, we just want her to know that she will forever be in our hearts. Thank you for the opportunity to share our story and thanks to all of the doctors and nurses who took such good care of our Dad in his final hours. A very special thank you to Allison, who took care of him as I imagined she would have taken care of her own father and who let us have peace with his parting because of that.