My name is Y, most people called me Y's mom. This is my new name. I'm from S. Korea and have been living in America for 8 years. When I found out I was pregnant, I knew it was going to be a little different pregnancy rather than a normal one. I never imagined I would be a NICU Mama. Here is my story:
My due date was in January, however, 2 and a half months early, 12:30 my water broke unexpectedly. We went to the Ft. Hood Darnell hospital. They told me I was dilated at 2cm, but the doctor told me I was not going to have a baby today. I would be staying in the hospital for a month and I will deliver my baby in the next month. But things changed. Baby girl Y came out at 8:12, she had her 10 fingers,10 toes, and cried like a normal newborn baby. My husband and I were enjoying the moment because we could only see Y as a physically healthy baby. One hour later the doctor told us Y has TE fistula. I didn't know what Te fistula was or meant. All I knew was she couldn't eat through her mouth and nothing more. I forced the nurses and my husband to put me in a wheelchair and take me to see my baby. She looked just like a newborn baby, maybe a little smaller than other newborn babies.
Four hours later they transferred Y to Dell Children's Hospital. Well, I don't think many people know what it is like to be in the NICU and/or what goes on behind the securely locked door. I didn't know what a NICU was or how long my baby would have to stay. I had no clue what it would feel like to leave my baby or leave her behind the door. I had no clue what it would feel like to watch and let strangers take care of my baby. There was a camera that allowed me to watch her anytime. However, that made things worse at times. When I watched her cry, or cover her face with a blanket, or lots of secretions from her mouth, I would start having increased anxiety. "Where is the nurse?!" And I started to dial the number. I did not think about the nurse having to care for another baby. Selfishness?... But now I have been in NICU for 5 months, which included going through 2 major surgeries, every couple weeks we used bag valve mask on her, g tube, j tube, stanton, broken ribs, and a fractured collarbone. I could not help but feel like "what else?!" Yes, my child, Y, she's a diva and she's a warrior! That's what they called her because she is a fighter! I am thankful for the bond you formed and the unconditional love you gave my baby. I want to tell all you guys how grateful I am. This is for you guys and no matter how hard I try, these words will never express how much I truly appreciate you or my gratitude! Thank you for trying to make me feel like a friend, not a patient. From the day Y was born to now. I feel like the NICU is my 2nd home, the NICU is a significant part of my life. I literally cried almost every day when I was going through postpartum depression. I do not have family in Texas and my husband is always working and going to the field. I was alone but you guys were always there for me, in the home and family you guys created. You cried with me, talked to me, and always made sure to check in on me. Even when my husband and I had to go into quarantine for 14 days, you guys FaceTimed me every day and emailed a picture of Y. To say you guys are amazing is an understatement. You guys have changed my family's life.
A special thanks to Allissa for the love that you taught me and teaching me how to stand up for my child. Thank you for helping me learn how to hold my baby and manage the wires that were all over her tiny body. You taught me how to trust nurses, whatever you said I fully trusted and wholeheartedly believed you. There are so many things that I love about you. When my baby was going through her rough times, you were always there for her and our family. However, what I love most was the way you genuinely loved my baby. There are so many nurses out there but nobody will or can be like you!
Thank you! From a NICU mom who will forever remember the smells, sounds, the love, tears, and laughs, any time I look at my baby Y!
Allissa's professionalism, selfless service, and commitment to Y and our family is beyond our expectation and reflects highly upon the NICU and NICU staff. Allissa has shown nothing but a sincere interest in our Y. Whenever we have a question concerning our daughter's situation, she has an answer and if she is unable to provide an answer, she will seek an answer for us. When Y first arrived in the NICU we were lost because we have never been in this situation before. The NICU staff provided us with nothing but comfort since our arrival. A day or so after arrival is when we met Allissa and she has been with us ever since. Allissa has always gone above and beyond to support and comfort us in this difficult time. As a family, we want to do what we can to see that she is recognized for all she has done.