We admitted a patient to our hospital who was well known to all of us. This patient had stage IV cancer and he and his family were having a difficult time with the diagnosis. He was young, they would say, too young to die at 59 years old. His wife and son would visit him every time the doors opened with such fear and sadness in their eyes, every single time. This particular admission was different. This man was dying. We knew it, but they were just realizing it. This man had decided to have his code status be DNR. He needed multiple units of blood, fluids, and vasopressors, just to keep him alive. He was vomiting blood uncontrollably, over the side rail of the bed. He was angry that he was dying and refused every option that Amanda offered him in regards to a basin or emesis bag. He demanded that he "just wanted to do this his way." I watched her every single time, lay absorb pads on the bed and on the floor so that he could do this his way.
For two days this process with Amanda and her patient continued. She said to me, "And I have to come back for a third night tomorrow." I could tell that this was wearing on her not just physically, but emotionally as well. I offered to switch the assignment the next night, so that she may have a break. Her response was, "No. They know me, they trust me and I know his routine." As another day passed, his condition worsened as we expected. Amanda made an exception and allowed his wife and son to visit outside of visiting hour times.
After his death, Amanda visited him and his family at the funeral home. She told me about it and how everyone there knew her and how humbling it was to have such an impact on this family. She only intended to visit a few minutes, which turned into an hour and a half. The commitment and compassionate care that Amanda showed to this family made me extremely proud to be a nurse and to be part of our ICU team. It was such an honor to witness Amanda allowing this patient to have dignity and follow his wishes, by doing it "his way" regardless of the extra physical work that was required.