My husband, J, was a stage 4 lung cancer patient and fought an 8 month battle. He never smoked and was a marathon runner. J always related his battle with cancer to running a marathon. He would tell Dr. V he was at mile 20 and had hit the wall and the last 6.2 miles were all mental and he was going to run again. This summer J took a turn for the worst and was rushed to Good Sam via ambulance. I knew it wasn't good but you always have hope when your loved one is battling cancer. As things progressed they decided to put J in the ICU. He always kept his sense of humor during the entire journey with his battle. When the ER said he was going to the ICU he said, "No, I don't get any sleep there. They're always poking me and checking my vitals." J insisted I go home and get some sleep and come back early in the morning. We said our goodbyes and I kissed him for the last time.
When the phone rang at 3:25 am after falling asleep I knew things weren't good. I was informed he was having difficulty breathing and other issues. The doctor said J was alert and understood what was happening and agreed to be sedated and put on a ventilator. I know J was very frightened about the end and how it would happen. J always joked that he didn't like the word "died" so he would say he was going to the Big Sleep. I wasn't able to be there before he was sedated and put on the ventilator, but I know he was in good hands and with people who cared. When I arrived, I wasn't able to go up to the room because of a procedure he was going to have. I was brought up to date by the doctors and waited. Everyone was so caring. J and I have no family here in Portland, so I was by myself during this time. I never felt alone with the support from the hospital staff. After everything was done I was allowed to go see J. I was greeted with a warm smile and caring nurses. Austin was amazing. He supported me while I came to grips with the fact that my husband and best friend was dying. Austin asked me if I had anyone with me and I told him I was by myself. He went about his duties with J and answered all of my questions. Austin was so caring about my feelings and dealing with the situation. He turned the monitors away from me so that I couldn't see that J was declining rapidly. I chatted with J telling him he ran a tough race and he was at the finish line and to cross it and get that beer. Austin explained to me that if I wanted I could have the ventilator removed at any time I felt comfortable. I knew J was going to make that decision on his own. I was only able to spend a little over an hour with J. J made the decision to go to the Big Sleep on his own.
I want to thank Austin for making the most difficult time of my life easy. I never felt alone and I know J didn't either during this time. I know they care about their patients and the patient's family whether its 1 person or 10. It takes a special person to do what they do every day.