August 2020
Carla R.
Smith
,
RN
Neuro Intensive Care
Leeds Teaching Hospitals NHS Trust
Leeds
United Kingdom
Carla cared for my cousin, S, following a horrific road traffic accident in which he sustained significant brain injuries. From the outset, it was clear that the injuries were at the very least life-limiting, but more likely not-survivable, and the following day it was confirmed that S's brain-stem had died.
The time in which I experienced Carla was very short - not even 12 hours, but within that 12 hours, she showed care and concern not only for S but also for myself and all of the family who was trying to deal with the shock of the accident and understand the consequences thereof. From the moment we walked through the door Carla took the time to explain everything to us, perfectly adapting the way she spoke to us (e.g. simplified or a bit more technical) based on the things we said, the questions we asked, and who she was speaking to.
She also took great care in identifying not only who we were and the relationships to S, but also all the little details about other things which we would like the team to consider (Grandma's Parkinson's, his niece's birthday, step-parent relationships, etc, etc). She spoke to my mum and me about S's current status and helped us to fully understand, as we had heard varying reports from other family members. The kind and caring, yet completely frank was in which she spoke to us at that initial chat helped to not only prepare us for what was to come but for us to also support our other family members, most notably S's sister and his mum. And all the while she was speaking to S affectionately, explaining what she was doing to him, treating him with such dignity and care as if she was a member of the family herself.
I know this story might not seem particularly noteworthy, and I'm certain that Carla would simply say that she was just doing her job, but for us, it didn't feel like she was merely doing her job. It felt like she put her heart and soul into caring for S in his last hours, and simultaneously caring for each and every need of the individual family members (and there were 7 of us!) in a very personal and professional way. Losing a family member in such tragic circumstances is never going to be a good situation, but Carla truly made a difference. Those few hours of Carla's care will stay with us for the rest of our lives. They meant that we could face the devastating end with a calmness and a feeling of 'security', knowing that we could ask anything, at any time, and that Carla would take the time to explain and in the full knowledge that S was in the very safest and caring of hands. Carla repeated time and time again that she wished things could be different, but whilst Carla couldn't change the outcome, what she certainly did do is change the way in which we had to face it. Even now, less than a day after S passed, we can firmly say that Carla has left a profound impact on us and when we look back on these last few days, whilst we will remember losing S and feeling great sadness, at the same time we will remain forever touched by Carla's kindness and care for S, but also for us.
The time in which I experienced Carla was very short - not even 12 hours, but within that 12 hours, she showed care and concern not only for S but also for myself and all of the family who was trying to deal with the shock of the accident and understand the consequences thereof. From the moment we walked through the door Carla took the time to explain everything to us, perfectly adapting the way she spoke to us (e.g. simplified or a bit more technical) based on the things we said, the questions we asked, and who she was speaking to.
She also took great care in identifying not only who we were and the relationships to S, but also all the little details about other things which we would like the team to consider (Grandma's Parkinson's, his niece's birthday, step-parent relationships, etc, etc). She spoke to my mum and me about S's current status and helped us to fully understand, as we had heard varying reports from other family members. The kind and caring, yet completely frank was in which she spoke to us at that initial chat helped to not only prepare us for what was to come but for us to also support our other family members, most notably S's sister and his mum. And all the while she was speaking to S affectionately, explaining what she was doing to him, treating him with such dignity and care as if she was a member of the family herself.
I know this story might not seem particularly noteworthy, and I'm certain that Carla would simply say that she was just doing her job, but for us, it didn't feel like she was merely doing her job. It felt like she put her heart and soul into caring for S in his last hours, and simultaneously caring for each and every need of the individual family members (and there were 7 of us!) in a very personal and professional way. Losing a family member in such tragic circumstances is never going to be a good situation, but Carla truly made a difference. Those few hours of Carla's care will stay with us for the rest of our lives. They meant that we could face the devastating end with a calmness and a feeling of 'security', knowing that we could ask anything, at any time, and that Carla would take the time to explain and in the full knowledge that S was in the very safest and caring of hands. Carla repeated time and time again that she wished things could be different, but whilst Carla couldn't change the outcome, what she certainly did do is change the way in which we had to face it. Even now, less than a day after S passed, we can firmly say that Carla has left a profound impact on us and when we look back on these last few days, whilst we will remember losing S and feeling great sadness, at the same time we will remain forever touched by Carla's kindness and care for S, but also for us.