The WAXlorette: I NEED A Can of Man (Or Woman), STAT! Sometimes, you just need someone to shoot it to you straight, even if that means telling you what you’d least like to hear. Sometimes, that person happens to be a nurse. Empathy, kindness, and compassion are the literal foundations of nursing but so are tough love and honesty to bring you back to reality. Those can be life savers too, especially in the medical world.

D was told he needed a “Can of Man” the day after his surgery and it was exactly what he needed to hear. May sound unconventional coming from a healthcare provider but the point was well received. In February, my boyfriend, D, had his deviated septum repaired at the Asheville VAMC. He had stents placed during the surgery to keep his nostrils open. What seemed like an obscene amount of dissolvable packing was also placed inside both sides of his nose. He insisted on coming home just after waking up from anesthesia. He’s a tough guy, after all. Sure, he felt like he had been pummeled with basketballs to the face but considering all he had endured in his life as a combat infantry Marine with 3 war tours, this was manageable from home. Or so he initially thought.

I cannot begin to tell you how much I love Asheville’s VA Medical Center. They are truly incredible! D had another surgery last year to fix his sleep apnea issues. His deviated septum was preventing his CPAP from being effective though. He needed additional surgery to repair his nose to fix the problem. D was told to use saline solution to keep his nostrils moist while he healed. He wouldn’t be able to breathe better immediately. His nose was full of the packing and stents. He couldn’t blow his nose per discharge instructions, either. The day after surgery, the air hunger from not being able to breathe out of his nose caused him a great deal of anxiety. He was panicking to the point of needing to seek medical advice. D called the ENT clinic and spoke with a male nurse, Chris. He gave him some tips. After an hour, D still found it hard to breathe and even more panicked. I called the ENT clinic back and spoke with the same nurse, Chris, on D’s behalf. Nurse Chris explained he had the same surgery 4 years prior. He told me to have D get in the hottest shower possible with the door closed, to get the bathroom as steamy as possible. He said to use that saline solution non-stop, even if it does just run right back out. He said to take the pain meds as prescribed. He told me this was going to be greatly uncomfortable for 48-72 hours, at least. I told him I was really concerned with his anxiety as I have been a nurse for almost 25 years. That’s when I got the most helpful advice, I had gotten from another nurse ever. Chris told me he was going to be brutally honest, nurse to nurse. He then told me that D just needed to find a “Can of Man” and do the things he suggested. That he was going to feel terrible for a while, but he was going to get through it with a little willpower.

Can of Man, coming right up…. D loves taking baths, so I had to convince him to do what Chris asked and get in the shower. It was hot, we kept the door closed. It was super steamy. When he was done, I had him lay back on the bed and I saturated packing with saline solution. It ran all over his face. I used tweezers to pick at some of the packing, which came out in tiny clumps. He was already starting to breathe through his nose now! Funny what happens when you follow medical advice and just dig deep within to make it through the rough parts. The Can of Man is working. D was calm now. Chris called back to check on us about an hour after my last call to him. He said the surgeon would see D in the clinic that day if he wasn’t doing better. But he was better! D found the strength within! He mustered every bit of tough guy and did what they ask of him, and it worked! Chris knew D was a physically fit, strong Marine, who needed a little push. He also encouraged D by sharing his own prior surgical experience.

The week we went back to get the stents out, we met Nurse Chris in the flesh. The doctor exclaimed she was worried about what D would think about being told to find a “Can of Man”. Nurse Chris displayed an amazing gauge of character and corresponding advice, which was exactly what D needed to get him through those rough days. Not every patient needs or could even handle a prescription for a “Can of Man (or Woman)” In most instances it is not what the situation calls for, but sometimes people need you to be patient with them, hold their hand, reassure them it's going to be okay. You must read your patient; this is exactly what Nurse Chris did. And he knew D could handle the truth. Nurse Chris, I salute you! You helped D rediscover his limits and realize he COULD handle more. I am sincerely appreciative of the tough-love approach. It was appropriate, it was necessary, and as soon as D realized that Nurse Chris’s advice was going to help, he found the strength to get through the temporary pain and inability to breathe through his nose. Great thank you to Nurse Chris. Thank you for the care and attention you gave to D. And Chris, keep on keeping it real for those who can handle it! The WAXlorette