My husband was a dialysis patient at the time and has since had a transplant. He has had multiple medical problems since childhood. He has had countless surgeries (including two kidney transplants), other procedures, lab sticks, treatments, infusions, injections, tubes, caths, lines, ports, you name it. Unfortunately, he also has pretty severe PTSD as a result of extreme childhood abuse. This is not documented in his chart and he does not like to share it with his medical team.
Anyway, the trauma he went through in the past has made him overly fearful of what most people see as simple medical procedures. They are surprised to find him insisting on lidocaine for every needle stick, especially this guy who "should be used to all of this by now." After all, he's been a patient pretty much all of his life. So, the surprise usually turns to impatience and frustration when he starts resisting and panicking and insisting on things being done "just so" when to the care provider it seems like he is making a fuss over nothing. He feels this and realizes everyone see him as a "big wuss", but it is something he just can't control.
The fear he experiences any time someone comes at him to insert a needle or touch him in any way that might cause any kind of pain, is unbearable. It is especially hard to have this condition as a man, when the expectation is that you will "buck up" and "be a man" and not show any fear, or else be seen as a complete joke.
Well, Donna was the IV therapy person who responded to his room when he was here. He explained to her that he needed to be warned before the stick and all of the things that he needs to feel safe and Donna listened patiently. He asked for a bit of time for the lidocaine to work before she put in the needle and she said something like, "Take whatever time you need to be comfortable," as if this was nothing at all unusual. There was no hint of frustration or impatience in her voice. She said it like she had all the time in the world to spend with him, if he needed that. I think I almost cried, because it was the most compassion I had ever seen a care provider show to him. Even when others did not show overt frustration, I had never observed that kind of genuine patience, compassion and kindness.
My husband is often characterized as a "difficult patient." Sometimes those of us who work in the medical setting become so numb to the gerbil wheel of patients cycling in and out that we forget that they are a whole person, and not just a patient, and that they have a whole life outside of this setting. Thank you for speaking to the person underneath, for treating him with dignity and acknowledging his inherent worth, for not shaming him, despite his fear. To you, this probably does not seem like an incredible feat, because I'm sure this is the care you provide to every patient, but I thought it was exemplary.