If you have ever experienced any type of loss, you know that it changes you forever. I will always have the memory of the day the doctor told my husband and me that our baby did not have a heartbeat. It's the words you always pray you will never hear. He continued to talk to us about the next steps, but at the time, I was in shock. We went home after that appointment, and I felt my body fall to the ground as soon as I walked in; I just cried and cried. Believe me when I say I am no stranger to loss; I lost my only brother at a very young age and have never gotten over that. But the pain and sadness I felt at that moment was indescribable.

After a few days of grieving, my husband and I called the doctor's office and asked to be scheduled for a D&C. We arrived at the outpatient department the day of our appointment, and everyone was so kind to us. We went through pre-procedure and had very sweet and kind nurses and staff who helped me calm down some of my nerves about this procedure. The procedure was quick. I arrived in the phase 2 recovery area after the surgery, and this is where I was met with the most wonderful nurse. Her name is Olivia, and I clearly remember her sweet smile and calming presence the moment she walked in. Nurse Olivia closed the door behind her and introduced herself. Then, she immediately asked me how I was feeling. I'm not sure if it was the anesthesia or just my hormones, but I immediately burst out in tears and could not control myself. She immediately reached over and comforted me; I reached over and asked her if I could have a hug, and she leaned over and said, absolutely. I felt like I cried on her shoulder forever. I'm sure I had gotten my tears and snot all over her uniform. She did not pull away until I pulled back and said thank you for letting me cry on your shoulder. She told me she was here to help me in any way she could; she then told me something that stuck with me: do not apologize because there is no right way to grieve: there is only your way to grieve, and that is different for everyone. After all this, she reached over, looked me in the eyes, and said I am so sorry for your loss. This was the first time today that someone had acknowledged the great loss of life that I had just experienced. I thanked her and asked to see my husband.

When my husband came into my room, I told him about my encounter with my nurse, and he said he was glad I had someone so special with me when I woke up. After a few minutes, Olivia came back into my room, introduced herself to my husband, and immediately said to him as well I'm so sorry for your loss. She explained what services the hospital offered and the memory box I could take home. I agreed to take one home. I thought it would be a simple box with information. When she brought the box to my room I immediately began crying. It was the most beautiful baby blue box with the most beautiful red cardinal sitting on a bed of baby's breath and forget-me-nots. Inside we found the most touching poem and pendant, but the most precious of them all was a matching set of a tiny camo hat and blanket. I knew then that this was a sign that my brother in heaven was watching over my little baby, his favorite colors were camo. And cardinals were his favorite bird. This brought me so much peace. I told Olivia she had given me the most precious gift of them all. I meant to reach out to her to thank her for the kindness and compassion she showed me on the hardest day of my life. I hope that everyone has an Olivia in their life that brings them hope and comfort in times of pain and sadness. I know that Olivia is a very special nurse with a heart of gold who cares for her patients and family like they were her own.