I am not sure how you thank someone adequately for doing what Jen did for my husband and me while my mother-in-law was in her care in the ICU. Jen performed her duties as the ICU nurse with knowledge, skill, and compassion, a rare combination in any human being today.
My mother-in-law, B, was admitted to the ICU after being taken to the Emergency Room from her rehabilitation center with low blood sugar and was unresponsive when she arrived. Prior to coming to the ICU, she was placed on a ventilator as her body was in shock with sepsis. Initially, we were quite confused by just what was going on with B or what to expect as we tried to learn about her illness. From the very first moment we met Jen, her skill and confidence in not only treating and caring for my mother-in-law but in answering our questions, mostly mine, brought a sense of peace for us. We explained that we knew very little about what was going on with her and we were the ones who were designated to make decisions on her health. I asked if we could ask her questions and she said, "Fire away, as long as you don't mind if I work while we talk!" Her body language and her words put us at ease to ask questions, above all the others who cared for her. She was there to help us and our questions were not a bother to her in any way. We watched Jen work for over an hour expertly administering to the many needs B had while we fired question after question at her. She patiently and with just the right mix of frankness and compassion, explained to us the very serious situation my mother-in-law was in and that her chance of survival was 50/50.
Jen's ability to help us process what was happening medically with my mother-in-law was evident in the questions she asked us to lead us to make the decisions about her care. From the beginning, she shared that because she had lost circulation in her feet from her ankles down, that at some point she may have to lose her feet. Her question back to us was, "what are your goals for her?". We explained that this would never be the quality of life my husband's mother would want for herself, or what we would want for her. Her questioning helped us to clarify the facts to make the very difficult decision we would have to make later in her care.
Jen truly took the time to know us as people so that she could again better help us to make decisions for my mother-in-law. In our many discussions, I explained to Jen that I not only needed to know and understand as much as I could about my mother-in-law's medical condition but that I would be communicating with family too. A member of our family is an intensivist in Texas and she was more than willing to share with me updates in her progress as then I shared them with him. As she explained, we were always looking for her stats to be trending upwards which they were doing for the first few days. One morning when the doctor was rounding, he shared some information which proved she was now not trending upward. Before moving to the next patient, Jen whispered in my ear, "I will be back to explain further". She recognized the look on my face and understood that I would need to understand this change more clearly. Upon returning and with all professionalism, understanding, and compassion, Jen explained that my mother-in-law's kidneys were not bouncing back from the shock and would not do the work they needed to do and her toes were now black and they would need to be removed. As she continued to work on B, she spoke on the phone with the family intensivist giving him updated information. She understood that we needed him to understand too in order to assist in our decision making. It was also this day that she had a student observing her. Because my husband and I are both educators we find value in mentoring others. Jen truly is a role model for those who are in the field and for those who want to be in the field.
This was the day that we had been praying would not come. The day we would have to make the decision to take my mother-in-law off of the ventilator. Jen understood this and organized a meeting between us and a palliative care doctor, so we could talk through the options and the process. With her guidance, we made the decision to discontinue life support. It was then that Jen's care switched to caring for the needs of my mother-in-law to caring for and meeting the needs of me and my family. So, for the rest of the afternoon and most of Jen's shift, we phoned family and friends allowing them an opportunity to say good-bye. Jen ordered a food cart for us and communicated with the chaplain to help meet our physical and spiritual needs. We purposely chose a time before the end of Jen's shift to remove the ventilator, knowing that she would be there to explain it all and to just be there as we needed her as she had been throughout my mother-in-law's whole stay. She explained that after the ventilator is removed, the screens in the room get turned off so that we can focus on being there with her and not watch every movement of her stats. We were able to be present as she left this life and were able to truly send her on her journey to our Lord and Savior.
Jen exemplifies in every way what we understand The DAISY Award to be. She performed her job with expert skill making a difference in my mother-in-law's final days. But beyond her duties in caring for her, she cared for both my husband and me. She guided us through every step of the way allowing us to ask any question we needed and also provided compassion for us bringing peace to our whole family. She did all this while being a mentor for others in her field. We truly believe that God puts people on this earth to serve as angels for others. Jen truly is an angel for us and our whole family.