This past October, my husband was a patient for a week on PNCU. He has advanced bladder cancer and was admitted for severe dehydration and malnutrition. As a result of the cancer surgery he has been living for a year and a ½ with a urostomy, as well as, a high output ileostomy, the latter of which has been a constant challenge in many regards, but especially in the area of maintaining hydration and nutrition. His cancer journey had been filled with many disappointments and hospitalizations, and he has been severely depressed, ready to give up. The nurses on the unit were all wonderful, but one nurse Judy Hartman stood out in a most unusual way.

Assigned to my husband one day, Judy came in early and introduced herself and then listened to my husband's “story”…. Asked questions to understand what exactly he was struggling with beyond the cause of the admission. She quickly acknowledged the severity of his depression, the “what good is it responses”, and sat with us for quite a while offering suggestions, compassion, and encouragement. I wondered, “how can she afford to give us this much time?”, Judy seemed to really really care about my husband…..as a person, as someone who was suffering deeply, as someone she really wanted to help. She left the room to continue her morning rounds, and soon after returned with an 8X11 sheet of paper with purple print and green highlighter titled: “JUDY BOOTCAMP”. “This is to take home and hang someplace where it will remind you what we talked about.” She emphasized to him that “recovering and healing are not passive processes” that he needed to “set small goals for himself and change the way he talked to himself”. She offered/demanded (i.e. Boot Camp) specific behaviors, and ended with “Find something to make you smile every day”… it struck me how much she really cared and wanted to help. She (and all the other nurses) were busy all day long, when did she have time to sit down and organize such helpful advice? How did she have all this time to spend on us? I don’t know what was more therapeutic for my husband, having the paper to take home, or realizing how much Judy seemed to genuinely care about his future.

I will never forget Judy… her cheer and upbeat body language spoke genuine compassion, and she went above and beyond to make a real difference. The ”Judy Boot Camp” paper no longer hangs on the bathroom mirror because my husband no longer needs to see his daily reminders to "get in the game”. Judy’s time, effort, and sincere caring changed his focus and outlook that day, and it has lasted.