My father died after having a sudden-onset cardiac event in his room. He was attended by Kaitlyn and the CNA who were assigned to his care at the time of this event. Kaitlyn or her proxy apparently called for a rescue of A and advanced life-saving measures were attempted. As discussed, A may have been 89-years-old, but he was mentally very sharp, and his mental abilities have never faltered, in any regard. A did have some mobility issues but was able to be quite ambulatory with a lightweight walker or roller-type walker device.
Kaitlyn explained this highly unexpected event, A's death, in thumbnail terms to my mother by phone and asked her to respond to the hospital in order to provide Mom and dad's adult children with some brief visitation and closure. Our family is extremely close-knit in friendship and strong in our Christian faith, so each of the four local grandchildren and the spouses of A's adult children all responded as well.
In reality, there are probably between five and fifty different ways to grieve, none of them are wrong, but a spouse's or parent's death is especially significant. Especially because my Dad, A, was such a vibrant person with a smart intellect, that I could honestly never, prior to the reality of that night predict that I would react to his death with such faith and strength, all because I could never imagine A as being dead - he had a big personality!
From the time that we were greeted in the ER, due to COVID-19 precautions and they did a basic health and wellness check for my wife and myself, to the security guard escorting my wife and I upstairs, to meeting Kaitlyn and her fellow nurses, techs and support staff, we were treated with a great deal of dignity and respect but in a very authentic, genuine tone and not with any style or manner that could have been interpreted as being either patronizing or disingenuous. I was not trying to judge this at the time, but I have taught police officers "professional communication skills" for over 20 years and have some idea about "best practices" in that business.
Kaitlyn had been in the throes of an active cardiac code on a patient who was older, but I am confident that she and co-workers gave their best effort, and after this rescue attempt, she did adjust to being attuned to the family's needs as survivors of A/Dad, and she made that conversion from the technical to the "soft skills" very well. As a longtime police supervisor in a busy local suburb, who has done dozens of official death notifications and responded to literally hundreds of sudden death scenes in the field, as required by policy, I realize that the "right approach" for a helping professional in this situation, which is to share the essential news but to still console a family and attend to their specific needs is often quite difficult.
In short, Kaitlyn was consistently kind, caring, genuine, authentic, helpful, and responsive to our questions, and made sure to check on our feelings and emotions, when we visited Dad/A's human "shell." Even when my spouse asked a number of clarifying, detailed questions, Kaitlyn gave a good representation of what rescue processes and interventions preceded A's death, which gave us some degree of comfort and closure.
Finally, I am not attaching or re-stating Dad's/A's full obituary here, but he was a college athlete, played baseball for UW-Madison and several semi-professional teams in Milwaukee and he actually received a minor-league offer to play pro baseball from the Boston/Milwaukee Braves, as a pitcher shortly after he graduated from UW with an education degree. Dad/A was always trying to live Christian values on a daily basis, and he was a great spouse, Dad, breadwinner, coach, advocate, and safety-net for his children and grandchildren and at times, even extended family or neighbors. He was a teacher for 33+ years, and a new-home realtor for four different home building firms in the metro area, for over 20+ years.
In short, for many reasons, A was very much worth the extra effort of "working a code" or cardiac rescue. This is because he was so competitive, and truly a fighter, with a great deal of grit, determination, and a can-do attitude, and if he was willing to give cardiac rehab a full effort, which was our plan earlier in the day, then he was worthy of your full effort, and merited a non-DNR status.
In conclusion, in hindsight, my mother and my siblings and their children also realize that my Dad's death, though untimely actually spared our family a great deal of difficulty, as his GI bleed could never have been fully stabilized, at least in the short-term. As a family, we simply wanted to acknowledge that Kaitlyn, RN did a great job at moving our grieving process forward due to her excellent clinical and people-based skills. This fine nurse has achieved what is often so difficult for many skilled workers in the helping professions, to have both great technical skills and strong people and interpersonal skills, especially in "crunch time."
Kaitlyn is, in our informed opinion, truly "clutch" during times of crisis, and I believe that she is representative of the vast majority of nurses on your floor, based upon our brief interaction with multiple nurse-angels. You have a fine team of skilled nurses and techs and we appreciate them, and your leadership in their healing and life-saving work!
God Bless You all, Today and Always, as You do this important healing work!