October 2024
Katelyn E
Durbin
,
BSN, RN
Surgery
Deaconess Women's Hospital
Newburgh
,
IN
United States
Katelyn, who had met me for only two minutes before this, instantly saw I was upset. She immediately grabbed my hand. She placed her hand on my head, looking at me in the eyes. She reminded me that I had done nothing wrong.
I recently had a D&C at the Women’s Hospital. This was my first pregnancy, which unfortunately ended in a missed miscarriage. I went in for my US, and my baby’s heartbeat had stopped at approximately 6 weeks. My D&C was scheduled for two weeks later. I spent those two weeks asking myself “what did I do wrong, what could I have done differently?” I knew there was nothing that I did, however, I still did feel some blame that I placed on myself. The day of surgery, I tried staying positive. I smiled, held back the tears and tried to be strong. I think the reality of what I was having done didn’t set in while I waited for my surgery. I met Katelyn when she came to walk me for surgery. As soon as she entered the room she was smiling, very kind. As she walked back to surgery, I became very nervous. I hadn’t felt this way all morning. Working in healthcare and in surgery myself, I had only ever been on the other side once, years ago. I didn’t know how to feel. My emotions just poured in. I became instantly tearful as I saw the bright lights while on the surgery table. The reality of what was happening finally kicked in. I knew that my fetus was about to be removed, it reminded me again of “was this my fault?” Katelyn, who had met me for only two minutes before this, instantly saw I was upset. She immediately grabbed my hand. She placed her hand on my head, looking at me in the eyes. She reminded me that I had done nothing wrong. She reminded me that I was strong and I was going to be okay. She reminded me that being on the other side of healthcare is scary, but she reassured me. She showed me compassion at a very vulnerable part of my journey that she didn’t have to do, but she did anyway. Even tho I only met her for a few minutes, those few minutes I will always cherish and be thankful for her compassion and kindness.