While all my nurses are amazing, please see my letter for why I nominated Kayla for this award. To the women of the Jefferson Hospital Infusion Center, I felt so robbed when my situation became emergent and I didn’t get to wish you all farewell and to thank you all again. Let me start by saying… the surgery went so well. The relief is overwhelming. I’m not only better than I was before I got sick, I’m better than I’ve been in over a decade. Granted, I’m still recovering from the surgery, but I am so grateful for all the work, time, effort, patience, and grace that everyone who was responsible for healing me dedicated to the task… to you all most of all.

One thing especially stands out to me that I would like to express. When the pain is inside of you where no one can see, the only way other people can know is to verbalize it… (as opposed to a limb being chopped off or a bruise where something hit you.) People have to take you at your word. When you add a history of addiction to the equation, you can see people weighing the veracity of the things that you say. “Is he exaggerating?” “Does he just want drugs?” “Is he a big whiner?” I got those kinds of vibes from so many people over the months and logically I understood it. ..but I would be lying if I said it didn’t hurt my feelings.

However, the one place where no one made me feel that was at my infusion appointments. Kayla, you in particular didn’t just believe me… you got angry on my behalf. You were telling anyone who’d listen that I was getting worse: not better. Every day that I came in, I felt like I had a whole team of moms, girlfriends, sisters, and therapists all rolled up in each and every one of you. There is no greater group of advocates that one has ever been blessed with the way I was with Yinz. While I singled out Kayla for that one specific instance, know that I have similar memories and love for all of you. I had the intention to write an individual message for all of you, but this letter would become so much longer than it already is.

Finally, I wanted to let you know that my mother had her surgery yesterday. She is resting uncomfortably and will be homeward-bound very soon. She wished for me to express her gratitude to you all; as well. I’d also like to invite any of you who’d like, to reach out to me to continue our friendships (I know I’m a weirdo, but I consider all of you my friends after all the time we spent together and conversations we’ve shared). Once my weight and movement restrictions are lifted, I’d even enjoy taking Yinz out as a group and buying Yinz a few rounds one night as a thank-you. Either way…feel free to say “Hi” anytime.