Eight months ago, I woke up in the hospital in post-op after my appendix had ruptured, I was told it ruptured 3 days before I went in the ER and the peritonitis had caused some damage and it would be a waiting game to see the extent of the damage the poison had done to my body. I was told I would've been dead if I had waited only a few more hours. D couldn't stay with me at the hospital because we didn't have anyone able to keep our children. He came as much as he possibly could while trying to work and keep our kids. I kept a high fever for days. On day 4 my fever had started to go down a bit. I was so relieved. My conditions to be released were to be fever free for 24 hours. Then, in the middle of the night, I took a turn for the worse. I started experiencing sudden onset, excruciating pain in my abdomen. I have a pretty high tolerance for pain and I was literally screaming for help. I tried calling D and he was so exhausted he didn't even hear the phone ringing. I remember begging the nurses to help me. I kept telling them that I knew something was wrong. After taking my temp and seeing that it wasn't as high as it had been since I had been there, they told me it wasn't a serious complication. The nurse called the doctor and the doctor had said that it was probably gas and he would see me on rounds in the evening. Being alone was pretty hard in the 4 days that I had already been there, but the alone that I felt that night was haunting. I'm not sure I've ever felt that alone. All I could think about was my mom. I just wanted my mom or dad, a parent, someone who loved me like only a parent could. Someone who could convince the doctors and nurses of what I couldn't. My mental state was so depleted by then that I was convinced I was going to die. I had only slept a couple of hours since being admitted and was borderline hysterical. I was met with my reality hour after hour, minute after minute, over and over on repeat reminding myself of who I was, an orphan.
Then you walked in. You came rushing to my bedside and just held my head against you. You wiped my tears, you held my face and looked me straight in the eyes and assured me that you were going to help me fast and I was going to be okay. Suddenly, I felt like my mom and God had gone to work together and knew just who to send. It was the first sense of peace I had felt since waking up from surgery. The first time I didn't feel alone. The first time I felt hope. After you left my room, I was in CT and my pain was under control in less than an hour. Shortly after that, I was told the CT results showed that my sigmoid colon had been severely attacked by the peritonitis, and they were possibly going to have to remove it. I went straight down for a sigmoidoscopy and was told again by GI it didn't look good.
Then, I woke up to find the doctor above me smiling ear to ear (I had been his very first nurse at Galen when he started his practice so we knew each other well). He told me how lucky I was and that someone must have been looking out for me. He said the damage and infection had shockingly not yet protruded to the inner walls of my colon and they would be able to treat the damage aggressively with IV antibiotics over the next few days and I would be okay to go home.
It's hard for me to put into words to describe what you have done for me. You were so much more than a nurse, or even a good friend to me. You were the face of God with the arms of my momma. Looking back, I swear you had a little golden halo above your head. You are truly an example of how God wanted all of us to love and treat the sick.
But you didn't stop there blessing my life. Since I got sick, I have had one medical problem after the other. I was admitted back again 3 weeks later for another surgery doing more damage control removing my tubes, ovaries, and removal of scar tissue that had set in like concrete from the peritonitis. It took the surgeon 3 hours to clean it out. This came with another 5-day hospital stay. My immune system stayed so low for what has seemed like an eternity. I have caught everything. I have stayed sick. Then I was diagnosed with RA. I have also had some pretty serious problems with my pancreas. And before any of this even happened, I was really struggling with multiple back problems I have had my entire life. Nine out of ten days, it was all I could do make sure the children were taken care of. I became depressed and I hated myself for being so weak minded and not strong enough to handle what life had handed me. God doesn't make mistakes, though. Our boys have been best friends for most of their life and you and I have known each other since nursing school. This year you have been nothing short of a second mom to my sweet son. You have treated him as one of your own and have been there for him when I haven't been able to. It has been heartbreaking for me not being able to be the mom I have always tried to be. Missing out on any of their sport or school activities is so hard. But, because of you, I felt peace knowing that he was with you and your family. I know he was having a blast any time he was with you whether it be out of town lacrosse games, or just living at your house. He truly loves all of you.
So, in closing to the book I have written, I know that being a nurse is often a thankless job and easily one of the hardest jobs in the world. But, you are one of the gifted ones. You were chosen by God to fulfill this destiny and you do it while shining his light. You do your job like you do life, with a contagious spirit full of love and without judgment. You stand as an example to all of us. I love you, my beautiful friend. Thank you for the blessing you have given to me and my family. I will remember them for as long as I live.