R and I would like to recognize Melissa Gurr who was our midwife. Melissa welcomed us both onto the Labour Ward after a tricky start to our morning after ending up in A&E with abdomen pain. It was later confirmed by a Gynaecologist that we were dealing with a miscarriage at 19+1 weeks gestation. The team in A&E were lovely and told us what was going on and where we were off to next which was in fact the Labour ward.
After the people from A&E left us Melissa got us both comfortable and had a chat with us to explain what was going on and how the day would look for us. She made the room comfy, made sure we were fed and watered, and all of a sudden the stress of what was going on seemed to disappear.
Melissa was calm, professional, and just such a friendly face, even behind a mask, that we both needed at the time. Both myself and R like the approach of 'say it how it is' it's what has got us through a lot of challenges through life while we have been together and even before that when Melissa came in and told us the factual stuff and explained things so well that we were able to gather our thoughts and process what was going on. It's like she read our personalities right from the start and just got us straight away. It made such a bad situation manageable and helped us get through that day.
Melissa gave us the space we needed to make our calls and speak to the family, but always made a point of coming back to check on us before her tea breaks and lunch breaks which we just felt was a caring thing to do, she made sure that my water jug was full of ice as crunching ice is something I just love to do with my drinks and most importantly she made sure R knew exactly where the coffee machine was to keep his levels topped up.
When it came time for little baby C to arrive, there was still no element of panic from myself or R as Melissa kept us calm and informed the whole day, answered any question that popped up through the day and set us up for the arrival of baby C and offering her advice and support, not once did we ever feel pressured to do anything a different way, we were never taken out of our comfort zone and whatever Melissa advised we were happy to take on. We are hugely grateful that she spoke to us about seeing baby C after he was born as it was something we were both so unsure of and no one ounce of regret is there, more of a thanks and appreciation for the reason to see him, I'm so glad she talked us through this.
There is something so special about Melissa and we all couldn't be any more grateful to have her there as our midwife. That day was an extra shift she picked up and we are both so happy she did. As my dad has said, someone up there was putting the right people in our path to help us through this and not a truer word has been spoken.
To Melissa she was just doing her job but for myself and R, Melissa was the best support, a kind lady and without her support and openness the after-effects of what we are going through with losing baby C we feel would be completely different. We are doing so much talking with each other, friends and family and we both completely believe that due to Melissa being open and honest with us about our situation, things outside of work and things to do with the future that myself and R are able to communicate a lot better since leaving the hospital.
As we have mentioned before to Melissa she was just doing her job, but to us she has been the most amazing person in the world, helping us give birth to baby C safely who we later found out shares her Dad's name, making sure the time we spent with C was calm and peaceful and just all around being an amazing light in a dark time.
We will forever be grateful and remember Melissa and we truly hope that one day our paths will cross again for a brighter reason. There are not enough thank yous in the world that could make up for what she did that day.