Molly, I have no idea where to start with this letter. I have so much to say to you. First things first, I wanted you to know how thankful I am that God blessed me with you as my delivery nurse. You are truly one of the most amazing humans I have ever met. I pray for you every day that God keeps you and all the mothers and babies you work with safe. I’m not the best writer, but I hope this note captures how much of a profound impact you made on my life. It’s long, so forgive me. I broke it down into three separate parts. 1. The birthing process 2. M’s beautiful smile 3. Your care

Some things that happened during our time together are blurry, so forgive me if I repeat myself. My pregnancy with M was VERY hard. Not just mentally, but physically because of how much fluid I was carrying. Going into the birthing process., my partner and I were both so scared. Our doctor really pushed us to wait until 36 weeks to have M because she did not know what complications we might face due to his condition. That was a very bittersweet thing for both of us. On one hand, we got more time with our son, but it also gave us a lot of time to think. We didn’t know if M would survive the labor process and I honestly didn’t know if I would survive the birthing process.

When your bubbly self walked into our room, I thought to myself this girl has a lot of energy and is just so happy to be here and for a night shift too! When I saw you jump into action ordering meds, taking care of me, and answering every worry and question I had I thought “oh man, God blessed me with the best nurse”. The pregnancy was so traumatic, I was very nervous the birthing process would be traumatic as well. We went in with open minds and even got a 1 - hour crash course from our birthing coach on what to expect, breathing exercises, etc. I was so worried that the birthing process would be horrible and would stunt any desire to get pregnant again. Because of YOU and how YOU cared for me, the birthing process was nothing short of transformative, empowering, and one of the best moments of my life. I truly never thought that would be how I would feel on the other side of this situation. I never understood how people ENJOYED the birthing process. Now I completely get it. I now know that I will be able to do this again if God blesses us with the opportunity. Because of how YOU cared for all of us with such compassion, kindness, and motivation. I know I can do it again. Thank you so much for sticking with me through that process.

M’s Beautiful Smile- When we were given Mo’s diagnosis, I was scared to look at pictures. It took me a long time to let my partner show me what he MAY look like. I told him that when he was born, I wouldn’t look at him. I knew it would be too hard and I would break down. I had to stay strong for M while he was alive. I needed him to know he was safe, loved, and protected while he was here on earth. I owed that to my little man. When he finally passed, you asked me if I wanted to see him. I told you I was scared, I had never been so scared before. But you so sweetly said “Do you want me to describe him to you?” and when I said yes I was so scared of what you would say. I will always remember how you described him to me “He has a big smile, beautiful eyes, and a very full head of hair”. We don't show pictures of M to anyone, but I find myself describing him in your words all the time. “He had a big smile”. That will stick with me forever. Thank you for doing that for me, M, and my partner. This world wasn’t ready for M. But you and every other nurse that interacted with him never made me feel like he was any less than any other baby that was born that day. You didn’t judge me, you didn’t judge M, you cared for us like nothing was wrong and I will forever be thankful for that.

Your Care- The last thing I wanted to tell you was about when I was panicking at that one point during labor. You sat down next to me and you said “Tell me what you're worried about” and I told you all my worries. I was internally panicking because I didn’t think I was strong enough to deliver him and that I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the time I had with M if he was born alive (because of how tired I was). I do that a lot, internally panicking, it’s not easy for me to ask for help. I’m a very strong person, but you promised that wouldn’t happen and that I would enjoy all my time with him no matter how tired I was. I never realized that question was so freeing. I didn’t realize the worries I had were holding me back and were impacting my ability to push. I hope you hear me when I say you are such a special person. Your soul shines so bright and the care you provide for patients is priceless. Don’t let ANYONE tell you anything different. I want to be a better person because I got to be your patient. It’s crazy/amazing how you could change my life for the better during a 12-hour shift. I need you to know that you had a profound impact on my life. It honestly boggles my mind to think we only spent all of 12 hours together and you changed my life. I was so out of it when you introduced me to my next nurse, I didn’t realize when we said goodbye to each other that it would be forever. I really wish I could tell you all this in person and give you a huge hug.

Every mother deserves to have Molly on her care team. I wish you the best life possible and I truly hope our paths will cross again. If you need anything- a letter of recommendation, a place to stay, or a friend, please know I will always be here for you. I hope one day I can hug you and tell you how amazing you are. Thank you doesn’t seem like enough. But thank you for going above and beyond for our little family. We will never forget you.

PS- If God blesses us with another chance to have a child(ren) I know I will be able to do it all again because you got me through the hardest challenge I have ever faced. If I get to do it again you better believe I will be calling ahead and requesting you! I will hold that baby in until you get there!