I truly believe God placed Nicole at work as a special gift and angel to me, as she coached me through the labor and delivery of my first child. Not only did I manage to just "get through it," but looking back, I have positive memories of this life-changing experience in a very large part due to Nicole.
I was that woman who was embarrassingly wailing as my husband wheeled me into the hospital lobby on Super Bowl Sunday, collecting concerned stares from strangers. I didn't know it at the time, but I was already dilated to an 8 or 9, and we'd had a hectic drive to the hospital, as we live nearly an hour away. The moment I arrived in triage, I felt embraced and welcomed, as if the nurses had been waiting for me all day.
I connected to Nicole right away. There was no panic or stress coming from her, only calm. The situation was so unfamiliar and scary for me, but I felt warmth and love in response. As someone with pelvic floor dysfunction, I had typed out a "birth preferences" sheet in advance to share with my nurses to explain my condition, but there was no time for getting that out! In fact, it was all packed up in the car downstairs.
Instead, I blurted out my issue, and it was kindly acknowledged and accepted by all. I was never made to feel bad about it, which was a large fear of mine going into labor. I knew my OB was understanding of my condition, but what about the nurses that didn't know me? Well, they weren't bothered at all.
When I undressed to put my hospital gown on, I noticed that I had bled a good amount on the way to the hospital. Panicked, I looked up at Nicole, and she said with her sweet southern accent, "That's okay, honey, you're in labor! That's normal." Whew. Relief. My contractions were getting very close together and much more intense. I was ashamed at how primal I was acting and how much of a "wuss" I was being, so I apologized after a particularly tough one.
Apparently, I kept doing so. I remember Nicole teasing me, "You're gonna have to give me a dollar every time you apologize sweetie." What a lovely thing to say. This immediately put me at ease and I no longer worried about how I was "behaving."
I also vividly remember one intense contraction that had me dry-heaving and roaring with pain. When it was over, I looked Nicole in her kind eyes and whispered in exasperation, "This is awful."
She responded in the most perfect way: "Yes. It is awful." This is the definition of empathy, a rare gift that not many have. It brings tears to my eyes thinking about how she validated my pain and my feelings. She didn't diminish it by saying, "Well, at least you'll get a baby!" or "Just keep your eye on the prize!" Those would've been perfectly normal responses, but she put herself in my shoes and acknowledged that yes, this was hard. Knowing that she "got it" helped me relax even more. Her response showed me that she didn't think I was exaggerating my discomfort, and it also helped me realize my pain was normal and that I wasn't alone.
When it was time to go to the delivery room, I was in so much agony that I asked for an epidural. This wasn't my original wish, I really wanted to deliver without pain medication.
Nicole warmly responded, "Yes, we can definitely get you one, no problem. However, you're so close, I feel like you don't need it!" That's all I needed to hear. I never questioned it again. Her confidence in me to deliver my baby without an epidural gave me the courage and strength to do it. She stayed by my side and helped wheel me to the delivery room. I didn't know it at the time, but Nicole was meant to stay in triage.
However, she followed me to delivery, sensing I needed her. I definitely did. I'm not sure why she followed me, because it would just mean more work for her (I was clearly not an easy patient), but my gosh, I'm grateful she did. I clung to her, literally and physically.
Once it was confirmed that it was time to push, Nicole calmly explained to me how to do it with gentleness and composure when I didn't really understand the instructions the first couple of times. Everyone was so patient with me, and after a while, I got the hang of it. I never at any point felt that anyone was frustrated with me or my (lack of) progress.
Furthermore, Nicole created the most precious system for ice-cold cloths to put on my head and stomach. I had never felt so hot in my life and somehow, while doing a hundred other things at once, she always had a brand new ice cloth for my forehead when it was time to rest after pushing. She was rotating them in an ice tub. I appreciated this extra effort so very much. It sounds simple, but it really made a huge difference. I also remember requesting that we dim the lights, and she said, "Of course!" without an ounce of annoyance. I'm guessing that Nicole has been a nurse for a while, but she never acted put out or burnt out. It was as if it were her first day on the job.
It also needs to be said that having Nicole as my main labor coach was a tremendous gift to both me and my (very nervous) husband. I had been told by friends that the labor nurses really don't "coach" you, and I'd have to either rely solely on my husband or invest in a doula. I put off finding a doula, as it seemed overwhelming and expensive, but I certainly didn't need one with Nicole by my side.
The pushing process was painful and took a while, but the mood in the room was calm. I was concerned about any harm that pushing might do to my hips, as I've had three hip surgeries, but she was gentle and took care of them, allowing me to hold my own hips. I'm sure the way I wanted to do some of the pushing was different from other patients, but she just went with it.
When my precious son arrived, Nicole remained present, soothing, and confident. She took perfect care of us both right after. I mean, what a whirlwind! I could sense that she was genuinely so happy and excited for my little family, strangers to her just two hours before. She continued to treat me with respect and gentleness when it came time to clean me up afterward. I can't believe what these nurses are subject to, but she didn't flinch.
Finally, Nicole was patient and loving to our eager families, who I'm sure asked a million questions and got in her way, and without me even having to ask (I wasn't even thinking of it), she took the first photos of my son and me, photos from when we first met that I will cherish forever. She just kept snapping away without me really even knowing. I'm so grateful for these.
It was the collection of all of these little things (and so much more) that made Nicole stand out. I have been trying to search for the right words to express my appreciation for this wonderful human for the past month.