After an 8 day hospitalization, my 87-year-old father was discharged to a long-term care facility. He suffers from Dementia, Type 1 Diabetes, Parkinson's, extreme hearing loss, as well as numerous other health issues. He was told that his transport would arrive at 6:30 pm, and therefore this is what his mind focused on. He attempted to walk out of the unit numerous times prior to the transport team's arrival, his dementia causing him to think my husband and I were sitting in our vehicle outside the main entrance of the hospital to pick him up. Each time he attempted to walk off the unit the nurses would return him to the unit, and his room. The transport team arrived around 7:00 pm, which set his anger off because "they did not arrive at 6:30 pm" as he expected them to, as well as his belief that "I was sitting outside the hospital for two hours". As they were transporting him from the unit he became verbally abusive and extremely combative, physically fighting with the transport team as he was being wheeled out in the wheelchair toward the elevators. Security was called and my father was returned to the unit where he remained in the wheelchair at the nurse's station. The nurses bandaged up his slightly bleeding hand which had been caused by him trying to punch at the transport team and Nurse Boyd called me asking that I come to the 6E unit at the hospital.
At the time Nurse Manager Pamela Boyd called me, my husband and I were sitting in the lobby of the long-term care facility, awaiting his arrival. We arrived at the hospital sometime after 7:30 pm to find my father extremely agitated and angry, his hand bandaged, his dementia in full control. There was no reasoning with him, no logic, no remorse from him. Nurse Boyd, as well as another nurse, sat on either side of my father, nicely speaking to calm him and talk him down from his extreme agitation, as well as dealing with his state of dementia. Nurse Boyd explained dementia to me and what was going on in his mind. Because of his state of mind, we seemed all at a loss as to what the next step should be, also fully aware of the fact the not only had he been discharged from the hospital, but it was getting late and the long-term care facility had been expecting him around 7:00 pm for admission.
It was a long, difficult time trying to calm him, and us, and during this time the compassion shown by Nurse Boyd was beyond expectation. Once she calmed my father down to a reasonable calmer level from his repeated screaming outbursts and anger she reached out to my husband and myself with such a friendliness and compassion I cried just from the kindness she was showing. She calmed us both down from the upset and worry we were going through as to the question "what next, now what do we do"? Nurse Boyd sat there rubbing my father's arm, reassuring him, calmly talking to him, all the while speaking to us in an attempt to fix this situation we now all found ourselves in. When he was calmer, and believe me calming him was not an easy task for her, she asked him if he would be willing to go via the transport team to the long-term facility if they would be willing to transport him. A call to the transport company found that, yes, they would be willing to transport him but could not return to pick him up until 11:00 pm. Being that this was an impossible scenario considering his entire situation, eventually, Nurse Boyd asked whether we would be willing to drive him to the long-term facility if she came with us? After much discussion, and total fear and hesitation on my husband and my parts, Nurse Boyd made a phone call to someone she referred to as her boss and asked for permission to leave the unit with the patient (my father) and travel in our private vehicle to take him to the facility. After their phone conversation, which I was only privy to Nurse Boyd's side of the conversation, it was agreed and approved that she would accompany my father, along with us, in our vehicle and the assistant nurse would follow behind us. Whether this was for safety reasons I do not know, but it was also to bring Nurse Boyd back to the hospital after he was checked in. During this entire process, she spoke so kindly to my father, with incredible calmness and compassion, always reassuring him verbally and calming him with her touch on his arm.
I will admit I was terrified of this plan, but she believed and continually assured us that it was all going to be alright, and so we could only pray and follow her positive attitude. We met them, Nurse Boyd pushing my father in the wheelchair, at the hospital entrance and drove to the long-term facility. She was beyond pleasant to him, and us, always including him in the conversation although he probably wasn't hearing it. We spoke about our families, about our vehicle, anything to keep the conversation going, and him calm. When we arrived at the long-term facility Nurses Boyd and the other nurse helped my father from the car and into a wheelchair, wheeled him in, located the admitting nurse's station and explained the situation and then located his room. Nurse Boyd wheeled my father into his room, all the while speaking to him, offering to and helping him change into his sleeping clothes that we had with us. Nurses from the long-term facility then came into the room and took over care of my father. The nurses very nicely said goodbye to my father and us, giving my husband and I a hug and reassuring words, and left to return to the hospital.
I can say, without a doubt, that as my father's sole caregiver, it was one of the most trying, upsetting, and devastating nights of my life. Not only was I placing my father in a long-term care facility, but everything it entailed in getting him there: his agitation, his unfounded anger, his dementia at such an extreme level in front of me. These nurses were angels in my life that night and I think of them both, as well as the night's events, often.