My son was born prematurely at 34 weeks. We were in the NICU for 24 straight days and in those 24 days, I met a lot of amazing nurses. Renee, however, was the nurse who holds a special piece of our story. Being on the NICU journey is not easy in any way shape or form.
Renee made my journey a little less lonely. As a mother of a child who is ripped from you the moment they are born, I was struggling with my emotions of balancing two older toddlers at home and having to visit my newborn at St Mary's 45 min away, dealing with my chemicals trying to balance back out and the heartbreak of leaving a piece of my heart in the hospital. Renee opened up her heart, mind, and personal life to connect with me and make me feel human again. She told me it's ok to deal with my raw emotions but reminded me that postpartum depression and anxiety is not a label to be ashamed of. She reminded me it's ok to think of myself and to be aware of the signs. So often PPD and PPA is swept under the rug and is a taboo subject. It makes moms feel crazy, unequal and judged. More often than not the NICU is focused on the baby as expected, but the mom is often forgotten about and is encouraged to focus on breastfeeding, getting sleep, bringing the milk in for baby, and nothing more. Renee made sure I felt loved, cared for, heard. She made me feel SEEN when my world was collapsing around me. She helped me which in return allowed me to help my kids. She helped me with tricks to get my preemie to latch better to the bottle, she helped me be my baby's biggest advocate.
I'm not even sure she knows how impactful, appreciated, and important the conversation she had with me was. I'm not sure she even knows she was the nurse who gave me the push to make it through such a tough journey. I want her to know her words, her hug, her listening ear kept me from completely breaking, and reminded me I am only human and I matter. I want her to know she will forever be a part of our story when we talk about the time we spent in the hospital. I'd love nothing more than for her to get the opportunity to read this letter and know that she might not hear it as often as she should, but every day she goes to work she makes a difference and she is appreciated. All her hard work, long hours, and compassion are noticed. She is seen and heard. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. I hope you never forget how important your role is in the community, in the hospital, in every mom's life that passes through that NICU. With love, grateful hearts, and an abundance of appreciation, thank you.