As crazy as it may sound, my daughter has been out of the hospital for a couple months but emotionally I have not been able to write about Tiffany and what she did for our family during our stay. Tiffany became our first primary nurse, and I had no clue what the whole primary nurse thing was until she explained it to me. Knowing that someone wanted to vest and commit their primary time to our child getting better was just the first thing that Tiffany did to change our lives forever. Tiffany made it her mission to explain everything to us, along with making sure when doctors were explaining things to us that we had a complete understanding. I also appreciated Tiffany's upfront honesty, we felt some relief knowing what could happen, even if it wasn't what we wanted to hear. To be honest most of the worst that could happen did happen, except death, which we came close to. Tiffany always remained calm in our most difficult situations, which made us feel a sense of calm knowing that someone who had a vested interest in our child would be able to make clear decisions during the mist of crazy times, such as codes, medical team disagreements and tough medical decisions needing to be made.
Tiffany, compared to some other nurses was quiet and kept to herself, which is the complete opposite of me and my family so I thought she would be just another nurse we would meet through our stay, but boy was I wrong. The moment Tiffany walked into our room she was asking us questions about our daughter and checking for our understanding. It made us feel like she wanted us to be involved in our daughter's care vs. just sitting back and watching. I would always discuss our daughter's medical updates with Tiffany from when she was off and what my concerns were. At times I would forget or maybe intimidated by our doctors, but Tiffany would speak up on my behalf. Tiffany gained my whole trust and confidence very quickly, and it seemed when Tiffany was taking care of our daughter she seemed calmer and fewer issues popped up, this is when I deemed Tiffany our daughter's stepmom. Tiffany also made me feel okay to cry, be angry, and vent. She said it is a tough situation to go through and having all these emotions are valid. My husband, who is not quick to trust anyone, also felt a special bond with Tiffany because she talked to him and informed him. In typical hospital communication, it's geared towards the mom. There was a very rough night that my husband had with our daughter and the nurse at the time. Tiffany was in the same pod but had a different patient, she still checked in every now and then and helped defuse the situation. The morning after the situation Tiffany even explained to me what was going on and brought it to the attention of management and didn't leave until she felt I was okay and issues would be resolved. This gave me the confidence and energy to keep going on. There are days that you don't want to deal with anything but you must do it for your child and Tiffany helped me and my spouse to keep pushing full force.
Tiffany explained a ton of information to me through our stay, but the one that sticks out the most is the talk of getting a trach, which we ended up not getting. Trach was probably the least risky medical decisions that we had to decide but I just didn't want our daughter to have a trach or selfishly I didn't want to deal with it either. Tiffany explained the benefits and what care would look like. Her talking to me made me okay with getting a trach if needed if one would arise in the coming days. Tiffany explained it in a way that I didn't feel pressured and rushed and I thank her for that.
I don't know if it was Tiffany making me feel comfortable or more that she provided comfort after the hardest day of my life so far. It was the morning after our daughter coded, crashed and was put on ECMO, the day after they asked me to kiss my baby goodbye. Tiffany came by prior to the start of her shift and as soon as I saw her I went to explain what the day/night prior entailed and I just broke down and Tiffany hugged me and explained to me what was going on. The day before was filled with so much emotion that I couldn't actually hear medically what was going on. Tiffany was able to comfort me and explain what was going, this showed me again how she was vested in our care. The next time Tiffany came to work our daughter was also placed on dialysis, Tiffany told me that she had not been trained yet to run the dialysis pump. Again, I broke down crying because she was my safe place, and she promised to check on us when she was working. I knew she had a huge impact on me and my family, but at that moment I knew she was our angel here on earth and we needed her even if it was a couple ofminutes to check on us, it helped us get through our long stay!
Tiffany didn't give us a choice, she made sure that we were included and had a clear understanding of everything going on, big or small. This is why Tiffany gained our trust, love, and respect. Tiffany has forever changed our lives and made the world a better place. We will never forget you and forever love you.