It has taken me some time to sit down and put words to paper on my experience at Sanford. Partially, because of the emotion, I have felt surrounding our experience, and for the deep gratitude I have for the care I received, specifically with one nurse in particular.
My original due date for our baby was February 1st. Needless to say, when my water broke over a month early, it was not what we had planned for our holiday. We soon learned that we would be delivering by that Friday, and the baby would be admitted to NICU for being early. All of this news was unexpected, and we had no idea what the road ahead of us would actually look like.
Fast forward to that Friday morning during a 7 AM shift change, Char arrived. She observed what was taking place, asked me questions, and listened to my answers. In the most patient and calm voice, she asked me what I had hoped for in my delivery. Between contractions, I jokingly shared that most of what I had hoped for was off the table with the baby coming early. This nurse continued to ask more questions and quickly found out I had hoped for a natural water birth, but I knew that things could change and in the end, I hoped for a healthy baby and a safe delivery.
Just as a nurse was wheeling in fentanyl for pain relief, Char gently gestured to hold off for a moment. We spoke longer and the new midwife also stopped in to check on me. She shared what we spoke about and started to observe and take notes as I was in the room. I didn't know this then, but I can share now, Char didn't leave my side for the duration of my labor. Even when they were going to gently induce me at noon, she shifted her lunch to an earlier time, so that she would be in the room with me during that transition. At the moments I needed strength, she somehow knew a gentle and supportive affirmation to share. Her body language allowed my husband to be involved, once he woke up. (Since he took sleeping medicine right before my first contraction kicked in... that's another story for a different platform). She would rub my back, incorporate a yoga ball for me to lay on, had me on my side to release my hip muscles, on the floor, and doing poses I would later find out she learned in a workshop.
As I was in the tub, Char would patiently and gently shift my monitors to keep track of my contractions. She had such a gift of presence and a calm strength that allowed me to have the delivery experience I had hoped for, in our own way that adjusted and was just right for us. She embraced my need to verbally process the labor. She also tuned into my husband's quiet approach and checked in with him. Something that has stuck with me is how she managed to slow time down in that moment and bring things back to the center.
Even when unexpected family arrived, she found a way to deter them to allow us time with our new baby girl in the NICU. Char stayed after her shift and made sure we were able to see our baby and make it to our room. I later found out she stopped by the following day to check-in, but I was sleeping.
She came back the next day and I was flooded with emotion to see her. This moment. This moment to see her. This moment to give her the biggest hug. This moment I had a heart that couldn't have been fuller, and the gratitude I have for what she provided me, us, our family; is something that's hard to put words to. Char is a gift. She was made for this. Through her gift of presence, ability to truly listen. She has left a lasting impression on our family. I truly could not have had the mental strength to push through to the end of it was not for her belief in me that I am strong, and my body can do this.
Char,
You are such a gift to anyone you work with. You have a permanent space in our hearts. You helped make our birthing experience one that is uniquely ours. You reminded me of the inner strength that we all have. That our bodies are "insanely amazing" (my words here) and that our minds sometimes get in the way. Your calm. Your patience. You. You are a remarkable human. You have impacted my life. I am grateful for you.