I would like to thank Cherí Mowery in the PICU for her patience, understanding and support. She gave me back my daughter and words cannot express my gratitude. My daughter was a late in life surprise. Before I had a chance to get used to the idea that I was pregnant, she was born very prematurely. We were told many times that she probably would not survive. So, when the doctors told us we needed to learn to care for her and get ready for discharge, I panicked. There was this little baby that had many medical needs. I had not held her, fed her, or comforted her, and I was afraid. I felt that it was my fault that she was sick, and I had not bonded with her. When I would come to visit her in the PICU, I would feel ashamed of myself for my inability to care for my child. I could not even soothe her. How could I take care of her with all these medical needs? Every time I left the hospital, I felt like a terrible mother and eventually I started to avoid coming to the hospital. I felt guilty for not visiting more, but I felt worse when I did visit because I was not a good mother to my baby.
Cherí reached out to me and realized that my fear was preventing me from spending time with my daughter. When I was unable to soothe her, Cherí encouraged and supported me. She helped me realize that what I was feeling was normal and that these feelings did not make me a bad mom. Cherí started checking on me every time I would come to visit. We would spend time training on how to take care of my daughter's needs and I never felt judged by her. In time, I started to learn to take care of my daughter and was finally able to soothe her. Cherí continued to provide emotional support and education until the day of discharge. On the day of discharge, she was by our side to make sure we had everything we needed to make the process as smooth as possible. We have been home for several months and my daughter is growing so fast. Without the support and guidance from Cherí, I am not sure we would be home together today. I am forever grateful.