How do you find the perfect words to write about someone who changed your life and the lives of your babies? How do you write about feelings that are so powerful that there seem to be no words that can describe them? How do you capture the essence of how one person could be so important in one of the scariest and emotionally difficult times in your life? We are not sure if we will ever be able to find the perfect words or sentences to portray the enormous impact Debbie Dodson had on our lives during one of the scariest and emotionally difficult times we have ever encountered. Maya Angelou states, "As a nurse, you have the opportunity to heal the heart, mind, soul, and body of your patients, their families and ourselves. They may forget your name, but they will never forget how you made them feel." My husband and I were blessed to have had a nurse like this, but we will never forget her name.
Debbie Dodson was not only a NICU nurse to us but an angel who helped guide us through one of the scariest and most difficult times in our life.
Our babies, J and C, were born seven weeks early at Yale New Haven Hospital. We spent a week at Yale watching them be hooked up to wires and monitors. We heard constant alarms buzzing and had phone calls in the middle of the night giving not only positive steps forward but also the dreaded steps backward that our daughter was making. This was a parent's worst nightmare. Seeing your baby hooked up to wires and monitors is an experience parents don't easily forget. And that's not the only traumatizing part of having a child in the NICU. There's chaos going on all around you, with sick babies and grieving families and doctors rushing everywhere. It was not the story that you dream of when you see mothers and fathers holding their babies and experiencing the utter joy of a baby being born. It was not the pictures you see in the Pottery Barn catalog of babies and their families all snuggling together in their beautiful nurseries.
By the time, our babies were able to be transferred to the NICU at L&M, we were scared and exhausted parents who had still never been able to hold one of our twins. We were filled with worry, guilt over not being with them all the time and fear as to what each moment would bring. We felt alone and like we were traveling down a long dark road with no light at the end. Little did we know that our lives were about to change as we walked through the L&M NICU doors and were greeted by Debbie Dodson.
When we first were told that our children had developed enough and were ready to be transferred to Lawrence and Memorial Hospital, we were nervous, to say the least. Little did we know, this transfer from the Yale to L&M would be the next step in bringing our new family together. We had been whisked away from the hustle and bustle of Yale's superb NICU center, with its constant alarms, dings and small spaces, to a very calm, peaceful and serene space at L&M. Upon arrival to L&M, a fantastic nurse met with us to introduce and acquaint us to our babies' new home and it could not have been a more different setting. Debbie was able to speak with us about routines and protocols, but also did something much more important: check in with two very nervous and heartbroken new parents. The one snapshot in time that vaulted Debbie into being a nurse who literally brought three lives together started when she asked my crying and overwhelmed wife why she was so upset. It was simple; she had never held her daughter, ever. Seven days, seven very long days had passed, and a mother had yet held her daughter to her chest, and it was literally breaking my wife's heart. When Debbie listened to the words my wife spoke, she really heard her and she acted. She immediately spoke to other staff members and spoke the sentence that my wife had yearned to hear since the day our twins were born, "Get this mom her baby!" It happened in a flash, but it was frozen in time. Within moments, C was removed from her clear glass incubator and quickly placed in the arms and on the chest of the most important person in her life, her mom. The tears that flowed were many, but they were tears of joy, of love and of healing. And Debbie did not stop there, J was soon out of his crib and placed on his mother's chest next to his sister and there, captured by camera, was the first meeting of mom, brother, and sister. For that brief instant, time stood still, life made sense and a family was really, truly born. It all happened in just a few moments, but it will be an event that my wife and I will never forget, and we have Nurse Debbie to thank for that.
For the next 7 weeks, Debbie was our angel in disguise as a NICU nurse. She taught us how to give our babies a bath for the first time while being attached to monitors and wires. She taught us how to hold our babies while helping them not to DSAT while eating. She taught us how to hold our daughter to keep her from stop breathing. She taught us what all of the tubes going into their noses, mouths, and IVs were. As our babies got bigger, she helped us take the first pictures with them and celebrate holidays in the hospital. These things may seem trivial to many but to NICU parents, these little things are everything! Debbie made the little NICU room became our home away from home. She answered our thousands of questions, calmed our worries and wiped many, many tears as we shared our sadness and tears of joy with her.
Debbie understood what we were going through and listened as we shared our fears and moments of joy with her. Even when our emotions were running wild between exhaustion, stress, anxiety, fear, and joy she provided calmness in the storm around us. Even more importantly, she helped us feel like we were the parents even though the nurses were the ones who needed to care for our babies most of the time. Instead of this little room being filled with nervousness and fear, it became a place filled with love and kindness by all of the nurses and doctors, but mostly Debbie.
Our daughter, C, needed to stay in the NICU much longer than our son J. We thought having two babies in the NICU was hard, but we soon learned that having to leave one baby in the NICU and bring the other baby home was even harder. As a mother, it was absolutely heartbreaking to have to kiss my infant daughter goodnight and leave her in the NICU alone when we went home. There was not one night that got easier or when I shed fewer tears. The only comfort during this time was knowing that many nights Debbie would be there to be her nurse and her angel. Debbie loved our little girl and cared for her when we couldn't be there. When we would arrive back in the morning, she made us feel like we had been there all night by giving us updates and telling us the little special things that C was doing. She made us feel like we were parents and part of helping to care for our child and not just outsiders. She always went above and beyond to make us an active part of caring for our babies by teaching us and providing constant encouragement.
We have always thought of Debbie as more than a nurse but also a blessing to our children and our family. Years later our daughter confirmed this with a story that truly shows that Debbie is not just a nurse. When C was around 3 years old she asked us about when she was born and told us that an angel, one of the nurses, had taken care of her whenever we couldn't be there. We wrote down her exact words because we were so astonished by what she said. Her words were, "Mommy, I was okay when I was a baby. The nurse, who was an angel, took care of me when you weren't there." We had not shared with J or C that they had been born early or been in the NICU and we certainly had not told them that C had to stay in the hospital when J was able to go home. Therefore, you can imagine the utter amazement and shock when we heard C talk about this. But to be honest, as we thought about it, we weren't shocked by her story because she did have an angel with her and that angel's name was Debbie Dodson.
Throughout our experience in the NICU, we were blessed to have exceptional nurses and doctors care for our babies, J and C. But Debbie always went above and beyond what was expected by any nurse. Debbie's nursing skills and professionalism were exceptional. But what set her apart from everyone else was her loving heart, kindness, and ability to understand our needs in a very scary time. She helped turn a very scary experience into some of our most treasured memories with our children. She is a part of their forever story and will be forever an angel that blessed all of our lives.
Thank you for letting us share how Debbie Dodson has impacted and blessed our lives.