I took my little girl to the ER because of flu-like symptoms that weren't going away and possible dehydration. There, we quickly found she was in much worse condition and despite the dozens of people helping her, and the hours spent trying to save my sweet child… she quickly and unexpectedly passed away. We later found out that she had undiagnosed Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia that infiltrated multiple organs.
While I am never going to stop aching, a part of me can't help worry about those who were there to try and save her on what was the worst day of my life. I can't imagine being in your shoes, seeing loss and the guilt that, as humans, we can't help but feel. I need so badly to tell them "Thank You" from the bottom of my heart. I know they tried so hard and they have no blame for how things ended.
I watched as the two young male nurses (one dark haired and the other blonde) switched off giving her compressions with everything they had in them; as if it was their own child. The blonde nurse from New Zealand who had earlier in the month assisted putting on my daughter's soft cast was also there with me, and despite any religion, was there to pray for/with me. You're so great at this job and I know it has to be so hard.
The lady in the red t-shirt was with me throughout the whole thing, you have such a kind and compassionate spirit. I hate that you have to see these tragedies and I want you to know how thankful I am for you being there with me. The male doctor with (semi) long blonde hair… yeah, he was a bit of a jerk at first, haha, but I think that after he realized her sickness wasn't due to neglect, his attitude turned around. Thank you for not stopping… for continuing to keep things going when I begged you to not give up on her.
You are ALL so brave and strong, and I know that if our Heavenly Father could have ensured that she received only the good experiences in this world…this was the best way he could do it. She truly is a special and sweet spirit and now doesn't have to experience any of the ugly that comes from being human, and was given the happiest little life we knew how to give her.
Most of all, I'm positive that she's the one who truly wants to thank you! She wants a hug to go to each and every one of you, even if you were only there for support. Know that my sweet girl loves you and thanks you for being there for us. Our family is eternally grateful for your dedication to your job and dedication to my daughter; do not let the losses break you! You are strong and there is always our Heavenly Father who has the last say in who stays and who goes and though it is tragic for those of us they leave behind, they are blessings in disguise for the individual.
You are always in my prayers.