The day started off suddenly at 3:30am when my water broke. We did not meet Stephanie until much later that day after an emergency C-section. My twin pregnancy did not end as we had hoped and one of our twins did not survive. Our hearts were broken with the death of our one daughter and yet we were filled with joy with the daughter who lived and began her life in Stephanie's care. As soon as the nurses allowed me to move out of the bed, we were at the NICU. With Stephanie's guidance and monitoring, we were able to have someone come and take pictures of our two daughters together. This was no easy task, because our daughter was on a C-Pap and was connected to many wires. Stephanie made it work for us and gave us the gift of precious pictures of our two girls together.
Later, after our family had left, my husband and I remained. I continued to hold my daughter, who had died tenderly in my arms. This would be our only time together and I did not want to let go. Something felt incomplete. Stephanie shared that she was planning to give our living daughter a bath. I remember looking at her and sharing a moment as I asked her if I could give both of my daughters a bath. Stephanie said, "Of course," with her gentle, kind voice and she made it happen. I will never have another day with my daughter who died. I will never be able to express to her the deep love that fills my heart and aches for her and will every day of my life.
Thanks to Stephanie I was able to at least offer her tender love through a simple bath and care for her precious body. We dressed her little body in clean clothes and prepared our final good-byes.
Since then Stephanie has continued to care for our daughter during our NICU stay. She has intentionally listened to our concerns. Stephanie has taken time to connect with my four-year-old son and to help him connect with our surviving daughter and to be part of the care. She has involved him in the bathing times, giving him tasks to wash our daughter's feet. She has also encouraged him to hold our daughter and help him to feel empowered to do so. Stephanie has gone above and beyond. She listens to us. She twirls with my son. She also empowers me to be the mom and lets me be the mom when I am there and involves me in bathing, taking the temperature and changing diapers; hands-on things I want to do and need to do in establishing my care and connection to my daughter. Stephanie knows our plan of care and encourages nursing of our daughter as well.
There are many great and wonderful nurses that serve on the NICU, but we feel the difference especially in the moments when other nurses have stepped in and cared for our daughter. The is something significant that stands out about Stephanie, something beyond her excellent care. Stephanie took the time to get to know us and our goals as a family and involves us in the plan of are for our daughter. She allows (present tense, because we are still in the NICU) us to be active in our care and be the mom, dad and brother to our precious daughter who lives.
Stephanie also made a feeding schedule for me to maximize my time with my daughter after my discharge from the hospital. She showed me how much milk I would need to provide and the schedule helped me be there for those feedings thanks to Stephanie.
I will never be able to thank Stephanie enough for the precious moments she has given me with my daughters, for her compassion and encouragement to us in our brokenness or for the great and wonderful care for our family. Our lives were truly blessed even in the most difficult of situations because we encountered Stephanie Dingess, a nurse who genuinely cares, and that has made all the difference in the world.