The COVID-19 pandemic has provided a wellspring of inspiring stories from the frontlines. In April 2020, the Staffing for All Seasons (SFAS) team was tasked with operationalizing a critical care unit specifically for COVID patients. One of our nurses, Matthew Ekimoglou, was frequently called upon to care for the sickest of the sick and to act as a core charge nurse within the COVID-ICU. It is our pleasure to recognize Matt based on an experience he shared with our staff.
In the words of Matt "I've always been the adrenaline junkie ICU nurse who runs towards codes and crashing patients, I always want to take care of the sickest patient on the unit ... an opportunity that most critical care nurses secretly relish." Admittedly, Matt is not a nurse who hugs, holds hands, or cries with his patients or their loved ones. Over the years, Matt has steeled himself from grief and prides himself in being a calming pillar of support. With the COVID-19 pandemic, family visitation has been extremely limited and unfortunately, patients passed away without their family and loved ones by their side in the COVID ICUs.
Matt had the unique privilege of taking care of an elderly couple during his time in the COVID ICU. Initially, Matt cared for the wife, who recovered and was subsequently transferred out of the ICU. Shortly after, Matt had the honor of caring for her husband, who served as his wife's primary caregiver. The husband's clinical picture looked bleak and Matt came to the realization that he was caring for this gentleman during the last hours of his life. The medical team called his family to inform them that he would not make it through the night. Together, the critical care fellow and Matt went into the patient's room with an iPhone in a plastic bag (so it didn't become contaminated) and let his entire family say goodbye to the gentleman through the speakerphone. The family asked if the critical care fellow and Matt could hold the gentleman's hand as they said their goodbyes because they weren't there to do it themselves. Matt and the doctor embraced the gentleman's hand, Matt took his left and the doctor took his right.
According to Matt, he felt fine at first but then came the sobbing and audible grief of the family coming through the speakerphone. Matt could not imagine being in their shoes and not being able to be standing by his loved one as they died within just a few days of admission to the hospital (albeit the gentleman was elderly but fully functional at home; he helped care for his elderly wife with Alzheimer's). The family kept repeating (over the phone) that they didn't realize when they took him to the ED just a few short days ago that they would never see him alive again. The family took turns saying things to him that they wished they had said when he wasn't heavily sedated and on a ventilator. Matt expressed at that point he felt himself getting choked up and had started "excessively blinking" because he was trying his hardest not to cry. Matt looked over at the doctor and realized she was doing the same... they both just let it happen and cried along with the family.
As nurses, we come to learn that it's okay to grieve alongside a family; and that it's okay to NOT be okay in general during these tough times. This day was particularly difficult for Matt but shaped him into a better nurse and compassionate caregiver. Matt's presence for this patient was a bit of divine intervention as days earlier he was able to assist the gentleman's wife to a full recovery. Subsequently, Matt was able to provide the family with as much peace as he could possibly provide during these trialing times. Matt stood in as an honorary member of this family during this time of grief and sorrow. Matt's takeaway from COVID has been to hold his loved ones a little tighter and say the things you want to say in the moment because tomorrow is never guaranteed; even when we are not experiencing a pandemic! We believe Matt's emotional growth as a clinician during COVID embodies the sentiments upheld by the highly esteemed DAISY Award.