What does it take to be an extraordinary healer? There are many different adjectives that could be inserted here: caring, compassionate, knowledgeable, skilled, a good listener. I used to think that I knew the answer. Having been on the professional caregiver side for my entire 25+ year career. But, it is way deeper than that from the other side of the caregiving fence. When my strong, healthy husband was suddenly diagnosed with stage IV large cell neuroendocrine cancer, we were thrust into the patient role. His treatments began in a blur after a week in the hospital. We met many caring nurses and caregivers along the way. However, we faced another challenge when our oncologist suddenly left his practice. This is the oncologist who gave us the initial diagnosis, guided us and helped us through those first 8 months of chemotherapy and treatments, and who we had learned to rely on and trust so much. This meant finding a new oncologist and also change in infusion centers. We were nearly overwhelmed again, entering a new area of unknown. After having to switch oncologists, infusion centers, and the staff who had been with us from the start, only then did we have the unforeseen blessing of meeting Ruby, our oncology infusion nurse. She is the epitome of the extraordinary healer that all caregivers hope to be and the treatment nurse that every patient needs. On our very first and anxious day at our "new" infusion center, my husband and I quickly knew that we were in the right place for his ongoing treatment. Ruby immediately put us at ease with her caring and upbeat demeanor, even though she was not our primary nurse at that visit. And on that first day, Ruby told us about an upcoming local patient summit in just two weeks. After eight months of learning the cancer pathway, we were unaware that these types of events even existed. Ruby shared the information with us and we excitedly made arrangements to attend. That summit truly gave us a glimmer of hope, as this was the first time that we got to see and hear from actual cancer patients who had "beat" the statistics that are sometimes hard to ignore. She also attended that summit, spending her free Saturday at an all-day event. This nurse dedicated herself to oncology, spending her unscheduled time at oncology seminars and lectures, researching the ever-changing progress of cancer treatments, and always keeping her patients first. Ruby has also been studying for her Oncology Certified Nurse exam, which she will sit for in February of this year. I personally spend my time researching the latest trends and studies in oncology, specific to my husband, so that I can be his best advocate. It never ceases to amaze me that she is always aware of the things I have read in between treatments. I do it specifically for my husband. She does it for all her patients. Now, that is special!
Regardless of the day and job demand, Ruby greets my husband and every patient with a smile and stops to talk, really talk, and listen, as if he is the only patient in the world. I understand the many demands of healthcare and those days when the to-do list of patients appears impossible. However, she never portrays any of that onto her patients. Her attitude and professionalism every day somehow makes walking into a cancer treatment center a little less stressful. She is also a skilled clinician, able to start an IV on the first attempt on my "hard to stick" husband each and every time. He had left another infusion center looking like he had lost a boxing match. After five failed attempts, it even became a bad family bet, "How many sticks will it take today?" Happy to say, we have retired that game. And if you or your loved one is the one getting stuck on a regular basis, then you can understand how increasingly important that is. She is a great nurse (trust me, I've worked with a lot in my career), a wonderful advocate for her patients and an excellent resource for questions. As a frontline caregiver, she is always available for questions, from lab value meanings to "Why do I feel this way?" If she does not know the answer, she will seek it out or readily bring in someone else, including the doctor, pharmacist, etc. to address any questions or needs.
Ruby truly knows her patients from the clinical side and reviewing the chart before we come in, to the personal side and remembering those little details that make her patients feel special and not just "Room X."
She is our angel, on good days and not so good days, as she is to every other patient's life that she touches. Written words are not powerful enough to express how Ruby has and continues to travel beside us on the rocky path called cancer.