August 2018
Amber
Curry
,
RN, BSN
Behavioral Medicine
Blessing Hospital
Quincy
,
IL
United States
Amber was my nurse after I attempted suicide over failing nursing school and not being allowed to go back. I was ashamed of myself for getting myself locked in the psych ward again and she remembered me from last time, which meant a lot to me, but also made me feel like I was a regular there. I was exhausted, devastated, ashamed of myself, and in pain from everything I'd gone through before I was admitted. I would barely even lift my head to talk to anyone but I asked her where she had gone to nursing school and she stood in my room and talked to me for a long time. No one seemed to understand why I did what I did. After all, there are hundreds of other schools I can apply to, but I loved BRCN for the most part. It wasn't "just a nursing school" to me. It was my life. I expected she might say the name of the school and some short answer about how I could do it or something before she ran off to do everything else, but she stood in my room and asked me questions, gave me advice, and told me she knew other people who had struggled. She probably talked with me for 10-15 minutes even though I'm pretty sure I didn't even lift my head to look at her. I've been treated badly for being a psych patient before and since then I've wanted to become a psych nurse to make sure no one else is treated that way, but I will always remember her because she is the type of nurse I hope to be someday. I was still mad that my attempt wasn't successful then, but after she stood there and talked to me, even though I'm not always a very cooperative patient, it gave me some sort of hope.