As with most pregnancies when a sibling is involved, parents look forward to the day when the new arrival and sibling meet. My husband and I were no different. We started discussing B (our newborn) with our now two-year-old, T, before B was born. Thus, upon her birth, we anxiously awaited the moment when T would meet her sister. However, things did not work as planned and at birth, B was whisked to NICU where she has remained since birth (5 months). For various reasons, e.g., B being too sick; T having a cold, etc., the opportunity for the formal introduction did not occur. And to further complicate things, cold season rolled around and signs suddenly appeared within the hospital indicating children under 12 could not visit NICU. Hence, there were many facetime conversations with T and B, but I soon discovered that T associated any baby seen, with tubes in her nose, as baby sister. This was discouraging and though no fault of anyone, I became frustrated that the two could not meet in person. I did not share this frustration with anyone because the rule of not allowing children under 12 to visit the 6th floor during "cold" season was just good common sense to me.
One evening during the holidays and while discussing Christmas plans, nurse Candis Thomas asked me if T ever met B. While I had discussed T with many of the nurses, I had not mentioned to anyone that she had not met her sister. I felt somewhat guilty that I had not made this introduction happen. I told Candis "no" they had not met, but quickly followed-up by explaining that I understood the rule, had not and would not complain, but longed to see the day when the two of their eyes met. Candis replied that "yes, that will be a special moment" and we proceeded with other conversation. A couple of days later, Candis informed me that she had spoken to the Director and asked if T could be allowed to meet her sister, in person, on Christmas Day. Gosh, I was elated, but Candis quickly told me to "calm down now, the request has been made but the answer has not been received." You would have to know Candis to understand that "ooh chile" look she gave me when she told me to calm down. She told me she would let me know once an answer was received.
Of course, I could not hold this exciting possibility in and shared it with my husband, mom, dad, mother-in-law, sister, aunt, cousin, etc. Candis eventually informed me that the request had been approved, thus the rehearsed actions I instructed T to perform upon meeting B along with the coordinated outfits I had purchased the two of them, would make an ideal pictorial memorialization of "When T met B." Well, the introduction didn't go exactly as planned in that T was somewhat apprehensive about getting too close to B, but B kept an unblinking eye on T. Eventually, while the adults were conversing about other things, I noticed T easing her hand around a stuffed animal that separated her from B and gently touching B's hand. She kept her hand on B's and stared at B for what appeared to be minutes, but in reality, was only a few seconds. This moment tugged at all of our hearts. Here, I learned that while the physical meeting could be made by others, the emotional meeting could only happen by the two of them, not as rehearsed but in their own time, space and way. What happened was much more special than what I had rehearsed with T or coordinated with matching clothing, this was a lesson and special gift given to me - and it could not have happened on a more special day (Christmas).
While B receives awesome care and I'm treated great by the Children's employees whom I have encountered, Candis not only provides wonderful care to her patient, but she takes the time to learn the family, assess their needs and attempts to remove any stress possible during these challenging times. Her focus extends further than the medical requirements for her patient.
Candis holds a special place in my heart because she provided the moment for my toddler to meet her sister at a time when my toddler was ready to extend a hand. She made it possible for their hands to touch, eyes to meet and hearts to connect on Christmas Day. I am forever grateful to all who made this happen and especially to Candis Thomas.