I have started and had to stop this email a dozen times because I just could not regain my composure as I wrote this email. I cannot begin to say enough good things about her as a person and most especially as a nurse. My husband was hospitalized and on Pavilion 4. We had the privilege and pleasure of having this nurse twice during his hospitalization. While we had very smart nurses and doctors and the best possible medical care, my husband was often categorized in terms of statistics and co-morbidity factors. That is hard to hear sometimes when they are describing the person you love most in the world. Our nurses always called close to when they should and gave me lots of numbers and stats about him. Exactly what they should do .... They more than did their job.
My husband had COVID-19 and did not survive. It was so hard not being with him, holding his hand, rubbing his forehead, combing his hair, and just being there. It was a cruel reality and the hardest thing I have ever done. We had been married for over 30 years and dated exclusively for 4 years prior to that. Thirty-four years is a long time to love and be in love with someone. This nurse was that rare nurse we had, who recognized this and went the extra mile for us as I am sure she has for every patient. She strikes me as that kind of nurse who KNOWS her patients. She saw him as more than a statistic or as I heard many times "boxes he ticked off" for co-morbidity factors. She knew our love story and cared for both of us. She talked with him before the ventilator and could talk with me about his sense of humor and him as a person. She knew he called me his "bride." She was the only nurse he used precious air pressure to mention and tell me how sweet she was to him. As he said, "she doesn't even know me and she is so good to me." She advocated for him when she felt he needed to remain in ICU...I am so grateful for this advocacy. One of the things I loved so much was that when she went into the room with him she took the IPAD so that I could FaceTime with him even after he was on the ventilator and in a coma. She knew how important it was to me to see him, to talk to him, and for him to know I was there encouraging him. She more than any other person, understood the depth of our love and commitment. While that is no substitute for being there, it helped. She always combed his hair and in this desperate situation did little things for him so he knew he was loved. Things I would have done for him if I could be with him. She never rushed me and always made sure he was well cared for beyond the medical needs. You will never know what that meant to me. Words fail me when trying to describe how dynamic she was for him and for me. She is the reason I wanted the Regional Foundation to be a memorial charity for him. I hope SRHS trains more just like this nurse. She is just amazing.
Do not get me wrong, she provided excellent medical care in tandem with the human component. She talked with me-- not at me about his condition. She is super smart but took time to explain what was happening and the impact of events on him. I loved that she helped me understand. I knew when she talked with me it was with compassion, love, and the greatest degree of care. Even in his final hours, she helped me understand why we needed to let him transition to heaven peacefully and calmly by removing the ventilator and why this was the best thing for him. I loved her for doing that for us ... again she talked with me, not at me. She spoke compassionately, did not refer to him as a series of statistics, and most importantly she talked about him in terms of the whole person. She was not only his nurse but in so many ways she was mine too.
Alex Tutterow is that rare nurse, and for that matter, doctor, who has not lost the human component of compassion, love, care, and empathy while remaining the consummate professional. She treated the whole person/patient. What a rare and beautiful combination of qualities. Alex will remain our DAISY Nurse during the most difficult, saddest, and hardest times of our lives together.