In a single moment, the very best day of my life was filled with terror as my perfect little newborn girl was taken from my arms and rushed to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. I had been admitted to the hospital four days prior to the birth of my daughter due to health issues.
After three days of long and intense labor, our little girl was born. She was beautiful, perfect, and my greatest gift. As I held her in my arms shortly after birth, I looked down to see her turn blue in my arms. The moments after are a blur as the alarm sounded and countless doctors and nurses rushed to the aid of my little one as I lay helpless in a hospital bed unable to do anything for this little baby God had entrusted to my care.
The days became one with no difference from morning to night as I made my way from my hospital room to the NICU to visit my baby, to nurse her, to bring over-pumped milk. The nurses learned my schedule and I was always escorted through back hallways to shorten the time it took to be with my little angel who still did not have a name. Throughout our entire stay at the hospital, my husband and I were met with countless nurses and doctors who made it their life's mission to take care of those in need. One of these nurses, in particular, filled my trembling heart with reassurance and as much peace as my soul could manage. I will always be eternally grateful to Lenae's care, dedication, and especially her friendship while in the NICU.
Lenae is one of the most genuine people I have met in my life. As I began my journey into motherhood, Lenae was there to help me maneuver wires and IV lines and reassure me that I was a wonderful mother. I knew that I could ask Lenae anything and she would answer my questions with compassion and in a way that I understood what she was saying. She took the time to explain to me each of the wires that were attached to my baby. She broke down the numbers on the screen that monitored my daughter and told me why I had no need to worry when a number dropped because I could watch the patterns on the screen.
Lenae was one of my daughter's biggest cheerleaders throughout her NICU stay. During glucose tests, she would wait for my daughter's heel to warm up to get a more accurate reading. If the number was low, she would test again to "give her another chance". When we were doing the hearing test, you could see in her face that she was rooting for our little one. Every obstacle that we encountered was met with Lenae's positivity and a will to fight. She helped me to be unafraid when picking up my daughter, in nursing her, and most importantly, she helped me become more confident in my ability to be her mother. She told me I was strong and that I could do it, she believed in me more than I believed in myself.
One of the biggest struggles I had was coming up with a perfect name for my daughter. My husband and I had talked about names and had a few in mind, but I kept on filling my mind with doubt. One night, I told Lenae about my anxieties in naming my daughter and she told me that I was her mother and no matter what, she would have the most perfect name. She told me that part of being a mother is trusting your instinct and not doubting your ability to care and love for your child, this included naming your child. That night, my husband and I lovingly named our little girl "E".
That night was the last night that Lenae was working. E was scheduled to be discharged on Friday and Lenae's next day of work was Saturday. As she came in to tell her goodbye, she said that she hopes to not see us again. Not because she didn't want to see us, but because she said we were ready to go home and that was her prayer for us. She wanted us to be able to go home and start our happy adventures together and to leave behind the wires, monitors, and tests. While I am beyond happy that I did not get to see Lenae on Saturday because we were able to go home on Friday, I am very much looking forward to seeing her again when the NICU has their reunion party.
Extraordinary skill and compassionate care define Lenae inside and out as a nurse and friend. Even though our time knowing each other was only a few days, she will forever be part of our family because of her love and kindness.