Three years ago, my husband and I found ourselves at St. Joseph Hospital fearing the life of our unborn child. It started out as a vacation, a "babymoon" in Arizona. It was one of the most peaceful vacations. We were able to experience the vast beauty of the Grand Canyon and the tremendous landscape and stillness of the red rocks in Sedona. Unfortunately, our vacation came to a sudden halt when I began to experience signs of premature labor. I was 23 weeks pregnant at that time. This was our second pregnancy; we lost our first child two years prior when I was 22 weeks pregnant. Although my doctor conducted a thorough examination and cleared me to travel, our worst nightmare was recurring.
We arrived at St. Joseph's and the team wasted no time to try to halt the labor process in order to buy our precious baby more time. While at St. Joseph's, I had exceptional care. My hope is that despite waiting three years, this letter will still make it into the hands of Jessie, Monica, and Megan. The lapse of time doesn't signify any less appreciation, in fact, for the past three years I have carried in my heart an unwritten letter that couldn't be written or spoken. The mere thought of trying to come up with the words to express the true feelings of my heart seemed an impossible task. And so, three years later, I will do my best.
Jessie and Monica reminded us of Hoops and YoYo (the bubbly animated Hallmark characters in greeting cards). Boy, were they were an upbeat duo! They'd walk in with a smile and before they left we were smiling too! Jessie and Monica referred to themselves as our cheerleaders; they were rooting for all of us and especially our baby to keep "cooking" as long as possible in order to better his odds of survival.It was so comforting to know that so many people were cheering for us and for our unborn son.
Jessie and Monica went above and beyond to make sure my husband and I were comfortable. One of my favorite memories is when they gave me a sponge bath. Don't get me wrong, I was mortified at the mere thought of someone else seeing me naked let alone bathe me. But Jessie and Monica gave me my own "spa treatment." They even attempted to wash my hair, with real shampoo and water, all while I laid in the supine position. There was water and soap suds flying everywhere! We shared a lot of giggles.They even went the extra mile to make it special, using lotion to massage my calves. I felt so much better physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We really bonded with Monica and Jessie and can't help but smile to this day when we reminisce about them.
Although it may sound trivial, Jessie was the first to know what our son's name was. Jessie didn't hesitate to call him by name. What a beautiful sound, to hear our son's name spoken aloud.
Megan was another exceptional nurse. With my water bag hour glassing, I was scared to move. While I was uncomfortable, I was willing to do whatever it took to buy us as much time as possible. Megan is very intuitive and picked up on this. She encouraged me to be comfortable because if I wasn't comfortable, then our baby wasn't comfortable either. This sounds like such simple advice but she was quickly able to gain my trust. She listened to my fears, and we shared personal stories of loss and hope. For the remainder of time that I was there, she provided wisdom, healing compassion, and care. Unbeknownst to Megan, we referred to her as "Motherly Megan." No matter how old a daughter is, she still needs her mother, and my mother was back home, 1700 miles away. She cared for me as if I was a family member. When my family did arrive, they were relieved that we were in such great hands.
When my husband and I think back to Arizona, we have fond memories of our small family of three, and although we can't help but think about those moments of intense fear followed by sorrow and grief after our son passed, we are always uplifted by the hope, compassion, and love that Jessie, Monica, and Megan left in our hearts.