I had the unfortunate experience of being on the other side of the bed on my own unit recently, when my father experienced a stroke that left him debilitated along with his other many co-morbidities. As every nurse dreads, I had to make the decision of placing him under comfort care, as the chances of him experiencing great suffering and loss of quality of life were quite apparent. It was extremely difficult for my brother and me to watch our father slowly passing away. Most of the time, I couldn't bear to even be at the hospital because I was so broken-hearted.
It was no coincidence that Raf was assigned to my Dad the first couple of nights we had transitioned to comfort care. There couldn't have been a more perfect time or perfect person to assume care of my Dad. My brother, specifically, was struggling emotionally with the transition to comfort care. Raf took the time to notice and understand my brother's anxieties related to our decision and the days to come. Raf had a one-on-one conversation with him in which he shared his own personal experience with his own father in the same situation as ours. He related to, listened to, and validated my brother's anxieties. I cannot begin to explain the relief in anxieties for all of us that followed Raf's compassionate conversation.
Raf took care of my Dad as if he were his own and as if his time were not actually running out. Raf spent a lot of time bathing, shaving, and comforting my Dad as he would have wanted. It was after this that we felt my Dad had been the most comfortable he had been in a long time. It was then that we accepted and felt at peace with the situation we were faced with.
We could never express enough gratitude to Raf for the unconditional kind and compassionate care he provided my Dad and my family. It was obvious that he wanted to, not because he had to. He will always hold a special place in our hearts.