In December 2013, I was diagnosed with Enteropathy Associated T-Cell Lymphoma (EATL). This diagnosis, and the grim prognosis with it, came as a tremendous shock. My family, friends and colleagues guided me to second and third opinions, which I sought. Ultimately, I took medical leave from work and moved to Omaha, Nebraska to undergo treatment with Dr. V and her team at the University of Nebraska Medical Center. It was clear to all involved that is was a battle not of my life but for my life. We journeyed through months of chemotherapy and the various side effects. It was a journey filled with triumph and sadness. Eventually, I received BEAM therapy and an autologous stem cell transplant. I am presently undergoing maintenance chemotherapy and have been lymphoma free for one year!
I first met Tawny Roeder through my brother-in-law who gave me a biography of Tawny that he found on the internet. He explained to me that he had done dozens of hours of research on EATL and in the process had come across Tawny's story of survivorship. He then stated: "Do not leave the UNMC campus without meeting Tawny. I don't know why, but this woman will be instrumental in your recovery. I really feel inspired (by God) to tell you this..." It wasn't so much what he said, but how he said it that made an impression me. I flew to Nebraska and together with family members, gathered for the consultation with Dr. V. She confirmed the diagnosis and reviewed a course of treatment. As we asked more questions, Dr. V suggested that we meet with members of her team, the people who would be managing and delivering care. When Tawny entered the room I said her name before she could introduce herself. She was surprised that I knew her and I reached into my briefcase and pulled out the sheet of paper that had her biography written on it. I tried to explain to her the premonition my brother-in-law had. As I spoke, I knew that Tawny would help me in profound ways. Although it was an emotional moment, it was also a moment of strength. Everything fell into place and the path forward was clear: UNMC for treatment.
In the weeks that followed, I took medical leave from work, rented an apartment in Omaha and began chemotherapy treatment. I'd like to say it was a smooth journey, but it wasn't. There were challenges, moments of fear and uncertainty. The treatment was at times debilitating and family and friends gathered to support and encourage. I could not have done it without them. They care I received in Nebraska was consistently exceptional. On a regular basis I gratefully see the faces of many of the people who cared for me and my family during the ten months that I lived in Omaha. They helped me to fight lymphoma and live.
Emotions, sometimes surprising, are part of the cancer battle. After a Petscan, we learned that there was a mixed response to the months of chemotherapy I had received. Although the tumor had resolved in my jejunum, the lymphoma had spread in my lymph nodes. There was still active disease in my body and it was not safe to proceed with the Autologous stem cell transplant. This news was devastating and I felt myself withdrawing. Here is where Tawny showed her depth and remarkable care: she allowed me to go through what I was going through. I was not ready physically, emotionally, spiritually or psychologically for a stem cell transplant. Rather than rescue me from my process, Tawny allowed me to experience it and be changed by it. When I was ready to re-engage she was there waiting. Knowingly. Patiently. Lovingly. Tawny gave me the space I needed to prepare for the significant treatment that was ahead of me. She then walked with me through the entire ordeal as my case manager and a lymphoma survivor herself.
All of the qualities of an excellent nurse are present with Tawny; clinical knowledge, lymphoma subject matter expert, excellent bedside manner, etc. But what makes Tawny remarkable is her humanity. She is an extraordinary nurse because she is an extraordinary human being. As a lymphoma survivor, she has done the deep work of letting the entire experience change her for the better and she manifests this experience in her care of patients. When I turned to her for help, guidance, advice, she was more than able to guide me. Ultimately, Tawny gave me an example of survivorship - one who lives but more importantly, one who gives back.
This recommendation falls short of adequately describing the breath of Tawny's extraordinary care as a nurse. I nevertheless submit it hoping that she will be recognized for the tremendous gift she is to those of us who have received her care.