Our 89-year-old brother G had been a patient with dementia at the WNY Veterans Home in Batavia for 7 years. He was in Maple Lodge for the last 4 years. We drove home to see him almost every weekend. In the final weeks of his life, we had to decide on end of life care for him. Sabrina came to tell us that they were his VA family away from home just as we were. She also said that she had set up hospice care here and promised that G would not die alone. That was important because we had promised our mother that we would not let him die alone.
When G was in hospice, we could visit with him inside the VA. Then COVID-19 spread to NY State and we had to stay outside and talk with him by phone. We were not able to see him because we did not have FaceTime on our phone. But Sabrina had an idea. She and her team got a phone with FaceTime and an iPad for us to use outside the building so we could see G. Late in the evening they called us so we could speak with G. They told us he was having trouble breathing and they stayed all night caring for him. In the morning we received a call from another nurse to come to Batavia quickly. Two nurses held a phone with FaceTime by G's bedside while two other nurses held a phone and an iPad outside the building so we could see G's face. Sabrina stood behind us. When we spoke to G, they excitedly said he hears you. He opened his eyes. He's talking with his fingers! We saw his face and said a short good-bye. We did not know if we would see him again. The next night they stayed with him again comforting him and holding his hand. Then early the next morning we received a call to get to Batavia as fast as we could. Our last words to him were echoes from his youth playing baseball when his life had been full of promise and energy hitting a home run as his family cheered. We cheered him home again for the last time. Everyone had tears and we all hugged. Our feelings of loss and pain of relief and hope and the sense of love and connection with everyone were overwhelming and more intense than we could ever have imagined.
We are so grateful to have shared that moment with those who had cared for G and loved him like family. Sabrina had kept her promise to us. We will never forget her calm compassionate caring manner as she guided us through those final days. She was the one who told us that his COVID-19 test results were negative; the virus did not get him - he died on his own terms. She told us that even with dementia his corneas might be given to someone. We thought of our mother and grandmother who had lost their sight and what this gift from G would mean for someone.
Sabrina and her team displayed the most important nursing skills not learned from a textbook. In our time of grief, they shared their humanity with us - love compassion caring - the medicine that comes from the heart to heal and comfort. We will never forget our extraordinary VA family.