My dad was in the hospital for the third time in a very short time period. My dad has had COPD for about 5 years and of course, it has become increasingly worse. On top of this, he was diagnosed with lung cancer last year and we found out he had brain Mets. The only providers that would give us any information were the oncologist and the rad/onc doctor...forever the optimists and they kept assuring us my father would get better by mid-October.
Being a nurse myself, I was not quite sure I believed this, but hope springs eternal when it is your father that is dying. I could not use my nurse brain when it came to my dad, I could only use my daughter brain. The brain of a daughter that has always been a daddy's girl. I came into the hospital in the morning and my dad had shown no progress from the night before. I went to the nurse's station and asked for his nurse (Brandy). She came over to my dad's room and we began talking outside his door. I was in tears and so unsure of what I should do at this point. He was not talking, would respond by opening his eyes when I would say "dad" but didn't really seem to see me. I expressed to Brandy how much I needed help in knowing what to do from here.
My dad had a bad experience with hospice in the past and had continuously said no hospice, but I could tell my dad was tired from this long hard fight with COPD and now cancer. I wanted someone...anyone to help me with my thought process as both of my siblings had passed away.
Brandy took off her nursing badge and put it in her pocket and said, "I am not talking to you as a nurse right now, I am talking to you as a human being." Brandy spoke with a voice of reason, a voice of caring, and a voice that had been there before. Brandy cried with me, she laughed with me and she hugged me when that is exactly what I needed the most.
The next morning when my dad actually woke up and was oriented, Brandy called me immediately so that I could get to my dad and spend some time with him while he was so awake. I visited with my dad three times that day. I got to order him lunch, feed him a chocolate shake, and laugh with him. I got one more wonderful day with the funny, great man I loved so much. I knew what the next decision needed to be, and I had the opportunity to have that conversation with my dad and had the chance for my dad to tell me he was ready to be done with all of this.
Brandy was a nurse that day, she was a human being and she most of all was empathetic to another human being that knew she needed to say goodbye to her dad. I am a nurse as a professional, but that day I was a dying man's daughter and Brandy gave me everything I needed from the bottom of her heart. I am so proud to have her as a member of the nursing profession and I want and need Hancock Regional to be proud of her as their nurse! Thank you Brandy for knowing and remember what it is to be human!