The first night we met Marissa was hours after we knew the next step for our 8-day old daughter H would be to remove her ventilator and let her die. Marissa walked into our room in the NICU on one of the worst days of our lives and, looking back, I am so thankful she was there. Over the next two nights, before we removed the ventilator, Marissa helped us make memories with H. She helped us get footprints of H for us and for our family and she found a beautiful quote to include with the footprints for our parents, grandparents, and siblings to have to remember her. She made bracelets for us and one for our 3-year-old son. She helped us record H's heartbeat so we could have it forever. She did these things with such care. I didn't think that while I waited to remove the ventilator that I would have any happy memories but Marissa helped us make happy memories. When we removed H's ventilator I was devastated - but I also knew I had so many things to remember her by, many of which came from Marissa or with Marissa's help.
H didn't pass as quickly as we expected and we found ourselves in Riley longer than expected. It became clear we both couldn't be at the hospital 24/7. We created a schedule and took turns sleeping at home. Marissa was our nurse again the first night I went home to sleep while my husband stayed at the hospital. I knew he would need to sleep and I worried about H having to sleep alone and possibly dying alone. But when I returned the next morning my husband told me that Marissa made sure somebody held H all night long - mostly her, unless she was needed elsewhere. She would pull a chair up to the computer in the room and hold H in one arm and work on her charting at the same time. In this terrible time, it helped my heart so much to know that H was never alone and that others outside of our family loved H and cared deeply for her.
Over the 3 weeks we spent at Riley waiting for H to die (or for us to eventually decide to take her home to live her final week as we did) we said a tearful goodbye to Marissa more than once - thinking we'd be gone by her next shift. I was so glad when she was back with us over that time. She loved H and cared not only for her but for us. The DAISY Award is for compassionate care and Marissa was among many compassionate nurses we had at Riley but she was also one who went above and beyond to care for all of us, not just H, and for that, I don't know how I can ever fully thank her.