I truly believe it takes a special clinician to be able to balance providing care for a patient with a poor quality of life and supporting their family that doesn't want to let them go. It is especially trying for these nurses during these difficult times. Elizabeth Thuch is an excellent example of a gifted nurse.
My stepdad, J, was in a devastating car wreck in 2015. He suffered multiple fractures and a brain injury with many more complications. He was hospitalized for six months and his cognition impairment was severe. He no longer knew any of us kids, and sometimes not even my mom. My 74-year-old mother had been providing 24/7 total care, and it had become her life. A hospital bed, mechanical lift, and specialized wheelchair took up her dining room. She had a wheelchair-accessible van. She wasn't ready for any of that to change.
During his final admission for recurrent infections, my mom had called me in a panic, so I was trying to piece everything together. My first call to Elizabeth, her knowledge, and her calming voice were exactly what I needed. I could tell she was compassionate. She had been providing care to J for a couple of, if not more, days. I heard a voice of pure compassion. I heard empathy. And as the conversation progressed, I felt a sense of sadness from her. Being an RN myself, I knew exactly what she wasn't saying. As a fellow nurse, witnessing his soul imprisoned by such a fragile body had taken its toll on me over the years.
After his last hospitalization, I had been encouraging my mom to request a Palliative Consult, so that she could understand there are resources out there. The time she requested one and after discussion, she decided she would take him home on palliative care. However, when the results of the swallow study were done, he was aspirating everything, and with his poor quality of life, he was not a candidate for a PEG tube. She had a difficult decision to make. I couldn't be there for her due to COVID, and I am so grateful for Elizabeth. She provided support while my mom ultimately decided hospice was best for him. J was taken down that evening.
Elizabeth had stayed after her shift to be there for my mom and J. She accompanied them to the new unit. She knew my mom hadn't eaten, so she went to the cafeteria and picked up food for her. She waited until mom was settled in and departed with more words of encouragement. My mom will never forget her as she was a guiding light. It always weighs heavy on me when J is hospitalized, and my mom is constantly on the go. I teeter back and forth between concern that she's not taking care of herself and concern that she's not grasping the overall picture. This time was different. I was suddenly dealing with the finality of his situation. I was contacting my step-sister and brothers to let them know this was it.
While I couldn't be there, Elizabeth was there for my mom. She listened, spoke kindly, and provided compassionate care for her patient and her patient's family. She went above and beyond her role by doing what seems to come naturally to her. She has a gift; she's making a difference, and I'm so grateful for nurses like her.