We apologize for the delay in submitting, it is something that my sister has wanted to do since the initial day they cared for him, but she was struggling to put her feelings into words. However, it was very important to her to acknowledge Melissa and J, so I offered to help.
Last summer, the doctors told my sister that her husband was cancer-free. The infusion center even gave him a shirt that stated, "I am a lung cancer survivor, they say I am a big deal." Obviously, my sister and her husband were ecstatic. However, clinically T continued to have pain and shortness of breath. The doctors told him "it must be muscle pain because the cancer is gone." His condition continued to deteriorate, and he was admitted for coughing up blood. It was determined that the cancer-free diagnosis was in error. Now his prognosis was very grim. They resumed his cancer treatment and then one night in October, he became very short of breath.
My sister took him to St. Charles and as she was helping him walk into the emergency department, he collapsed in respiratory arrest in the parking lot. She called for help and the emergency staff came out and carried him into the emergency department to resuscitate him. My sister and her husband had discussed end-of-life care but when she came face to face with the decision, she panicked and told them to do everything. They were able to stabilize him and then transferred him to St. Vincent's MICU. I apologize for the long detailed background, but I think by having this information you can understand how emotionally exhausted my sister was by the time she arrived at the MICU and why the actions and compassionate care Melissa and J provided meant so much to her and T's family.
From the moment T arrived at St. Vincent's MICU, Melissa and J exemplified the core values of Mercy. After getting T settled in his room, they promptly came out to the waiting room to update the family. They were compassionate and empathetic to what my sister and T's children had already been through. They were quick to recognize the emotional struggle my sister was having with the decision to allow the doctors to intubate T knowing his prognosis was very poor. Melissa and J patiently and thoroughly answered the family's questions and then promptly allowed them to see him.
When we entered the room, we could see T was receiving excellent care. He was clean and resting peacefully. Even though Melissa and J were very busy tending to T's medical needs, they took the time to explain all the equipment and medicine he was on and were more than happy to answer more questions. Respecting the justice and sacredness of life and the importance of treating him with human dignity and respect, they graciously planted the seed regarding hospice care and offered to place a call for them to come and explain their services. That afternoon, T unexpectedly started to wake up. He was coherent and able to answer questions by writing the answers down. He indicated that he did not want hospice, so the nurses promptly requested they leave. Since T was awake, the doctors decided to try to wean him off the ventilator, but he quickly deteriorated. He began to panic, was gasping for air, and dropped his oxygen into the teens. Melissa and J quickly jumped into action to oxygenate and stabilize him. Witnessing this event was very frightening for my sister but witnessing the prompt and skillful response from Melissa and J was extremely comforting.
The next day, the doctors did a bronchoscopy on T and it was determined that his lung compacity was only 20% and that he would not ever be able to survive coming off the ventilator. So, the decision was made to withdraw life support. Melissa and J explained the process of withdrawing support, gave K time to call T's children so they could be there with him, and promised to keep him comfortable.
After the tube was withdrawn, I could see J and Melissa busy in the background keeping their promise to my sister by promptly giving T medication to treat the symptoms that accompany the dying process. I remember standing there watching my sister sitting next to him talking to him and rubbing his belly while his children held his hand and thinking what a beautiful moment. He was comfortable and surrounded by love. Throughout the process, Melissa and J were professional, knowledgeable, clinically skilled, caring, and compassionate. They shared with my sister that prior to her arrival that morning, they had a chance to talk to T while he was awake and that he was ok with her letting the doctors intubate him because it gave him more time with her and his children. He was also okay with dying if that was to happen. This information to this day is comforting and puts my sister's heart at ease.
After T passed, we gathered his belonging and as we were walking out my sister said to me, "I am glad we did not go with hospice. J and Melissa were better than hospice...they were amazing, we couldn't have asked for better, they were truly amazing!"
In closing, it is with great respect and without hesitation, that my sister and I nominated Melissa Buckenmeyer and J for the DAISY Award. Melissa and J are extraordinary nurses. Not only are they professional, knowledgeable, and skillful but they truly personify the core values of Mercy; compassion, excellence, human dignity, justice, and sacredness of life and service. Their care, compassion, and ability to extend themselves to ease the pain and suffering of others is not only congruent with the mission of Mercy but is truly an extension of God's love.