I was 50+ hours into induction earlier this week, with no dilation and severe back/abdominal pains. It seemed clear to me that my induction was failing. I was maxed out on pain killers and nothing seemed to be working. As I was crawling about by my bed, trying to find a comfy position, really pretty distressed and causing my lovely husband a fairly serious level of distress too, Kerry came to me and calmed me down by taking the time to listen and talking to me. I have lots of anxiety (IVF baby, previous miscarriages etc.) and Kerry just kept telling me, matter of factly, "you've got this!" and that she would help me through it - until I listened to her and believed her! She heard my worries about the induction failing and never once made me feel bad for getting in such a state - she empowered me to prioritise my mental health (since baby was fine and just showing no signs of coming out!) Kerry calmly explained my options and told me, "I am not leaving you like this", despite it being the busiest night ever and literally tens of other women needing her (I saw her dashing from one lady to another for the whole of her shift). She gave me time to process my choices and was absolutely insistent that whatever I chose was what was right.

She had confidence in me when mine had broken and I had none left. Without Kerry's insistence that I had the power to make my own choices, I believe I may have forced myself to battle on with the failed induction, which I believe would have caused most definite damage to my mental state and birth trauma, for both me and the baby. Kerry got me to think calmly and clearly about what I really wanted and to re-frame my perception of the inductions as a 'failure' but a step in the process (I am prone to catastrophising but Kerry had none of my nonsense!!!) She explained everything so well and I had the opportunity to question, process, and discuss ideas in my own time. No feelings of pressure, no rush, just complete confidence in me. Not only that, Kerry has then popped back repeatedly over the next 36 hours to check in with me, offer Netflix recommendations, generally cheer me up, and has even said she will nip down when baby eventually arrives for a quick cuddle if she can - again proof of what a miraculous human she is, as no doubt this will extend her shift!

She genuinely made me feel cared for, important, and heard - no mean feat when you've been at the mercy of the system for 5 days. She has done everything a midwife should do in my opinion. I will be eternally grateful to her for helping me to speak out about my own care and for making me realise that I was still in control during some of my darkest hours. She is a credit to the hospital and the icing on the day of the phenomenal midwifery team.