I have had several hospital visits in the past few years, one for a day, and two for a bit longer. The nurses have all been very good, and I began to think that some were a bit more efficient perhaps, but basically, all of them have shown great compassion; there are no nurse ratchets out there. And, although compassion is certainly a component of what makes a great nurse, I’ve learned there is much more. But I must first explain the reason for my recent two-week stay at Froedtert.

I had a complete laryngectomy, which is the removal of the voice box. It is a very complex procedure that also involved the removal of a thigh muscle that was later grafted into my neck. I had read that recovery would be a shock, and it was. I have lost the ability to communicate. It is worse than waking up in a country where I might not speak the language, I could not even bring attention to myself to try. I had done everything I could to prepare myself and I was sent to the unit where they deal with us “laryngotomites”. I was without the ability to communicate and was largely immobile, because of the thigh.

Unfortunately, I was sent to OR for a subsequent, unscheduled procedure. It was evening and I was then taken to the ICU unit, where they no longer routinely deal with laryngectomy patients. And although everyone showed great compassion, they do follow orders to the letter, and the treatment was too literal, and I suffered a great deal. I was so relieved to return to the previous unit. Again, I learned that compassion was almost a given (I was treated kindly in the ICU), but it is a small but necessary part of what makes a great nurse.

Joe was my nurse on many different days and some night shifts but mostly day shifts, and over that time I learned much about Joe, and in spite of a 45-year difference in ages, we became something of buddies. Joe brings I believe some unique skills to the table. Joe has a distinct scientific bent, before switching to nursing, Joe was studying microbiology. He understands not only how we do things, but why. In complicated cases like mine, it makes a big difference. And it makes a really big difference to me.

I can withstand a lot if I understand what’s going on and why. I dealt with the following groups while I was there, the surgical team and occupational therapy, physical therapy, speech therapy, and a consulting hematological team that dealt with a blood clotting issue. A consulting medicine team that dealt with other blood and chemistry issues. A dietician, the “floor” doctor and probably more I did not know about. It was my habit to prepare a list of questions before each meeting and it went pretty well. Except, of course until I had time to really think about the answers I got. Then I had Joe to bounce my understanding off, it worked well. What I didn’t understand, Joe did.

My wife was also there almost every step of the way. She, however, is quite different from me whereas I want to know why and pretty much work out the how, she wants to know what, on what schedule, and how. She wants to learn “hands-on” and Joe accommodated that too. At every step, she’d follow closely asking questions. And the next time she would ask to do it herself under Joe’s supervision (and not just Joe’s but all nurses and therapists). Joe dealt with us as an experienced teacher might, with different pupils, using different approaches. I don’t know how he found the time.

After a few shifts, she became as comfortable with Joe as I was. In fact, at one point another nurse asked Joe, “you must have known them from before” of course he had not. I should also mention that I had become severely constipated, largely because of the various medications and the trauma of the second procedure. Of course, I was subjected to the “indignities” one might expect. Joe handled it so smoothly that I didn’t really think much of it until I later realized what I had just been through.

In passing, I’ll mention that all the staff showed Joe great respect, and he has an easy relationship with all of them. And one nurse mentioned that Joe had been part of the team that recruited him to Froedtert. He added that he’d been lucky enough to end up working with Joe. We have been home several days now and cannot believe how smoothly things have gone. Yes, we’ve had a few mishaps, and getting around has been very difficult, but there is nothing we could not easily overcome. This is because of the care, training, and preparation we were given while at Froedtert, and Joe was the biggest single part of it.