My partner and I arrived at Seattle Children's almost 12 weeks ago. It was a terrifying and dark time in our lives. Flash forward to now, we're preparing to take our son W home in a few days. Spending 90 days in the NICU has been a journey I don't wish on any parent, but I consider myself, and more importantly my baby, so lucky for the time we've had here. Why do I feel so fortunate for my time here? Because of the amazing care my sick son received that saved his life and helped him get to the point of going home.

But why do I feel lucky? I specifically feel lucky because we had the most compassionate, kind, and dedicated primary nurse. I don't remember exactly when Sarah Tantare (RN) entered our NICU room, but it was early on in our journey at Children's. I vividly remember the shift she asked me if W's father and I would be okay if she was his primary nurse. I had no idea what a primary nurse was, but once I did, I felt so overwhelmed with emotions. As a first-time mom, and going through a traumatic birth experience, things had been really rough. But we felt so excited that someone cared enough for our child that they wanted to care for him on all their shifts. At a time when it felt like constant bad news, this was the best thing to lift our spirits and make our NICU journey a bit more tolerable.

After becoming W's primary nurse, Sarah became the one constant person we could depend on. Our care team was amazing, and we saw many of the same faces every day, but none of those folks were as consistent of a presence as Sarah. Nor did anyone really have quite an impact like Sarah did either. Watching Sarah care for W warmed my heart, it was so obvious and visible how much she cared for him, not to mention all her other patients. Over time, I came to realize how much she cared for the families of the babies she took care of too.

My partner returned to work 6 weeks into W's 12-week NICU stay, and it was hard for me. I didn't feel like any of my friends or family really understood what we were going through and spending 12-hour days in the NICU every day was exhaustingly isolating. I think Sarah recognized that and made an effort to be there for me. Soon enough, I was looking forward to seeing Sarah when she was on shift caring for W because it was like having a friend around that I could talk to and confide in. I was able to trust her. I could ask her questions about things I did not quite understand in rounds without feeling dumb. I could ask her questions that I was afraid of voicing aloud to anyone else about what might happen to my son. I was also able to share my fears and desires openly because I knew Sarah cared and would never think any less of me.

One of the most impactful moments I remember that perfectly demonstrates what type of nurse Sarah is, was on a day she wasn't even on shift. After 10 weeks W was finally a term baby and needed to have a cranial ultrasound. His last cranial ultrasound had been within the first week of his life and showed no brain bleeds. Sarah was on shift the day W got his ultrasound and knew how incredibly anxious I was about it. W not having a brain bleed had been one of the only things really reassured me about him and his well-being. Sarah listened to my anxious ramblings all day, but unfortunately, the ultrasound results had not come back before I went home for the night. Sarah wasn't on shift the next day, but she did leave me a note. The note was a thoughtful little surprise that I cherished. It said how much she adored taking care of W, and how adorable he was. Sarah also wrote about how great of a mom I was. During rounds that morning, I knew immediately something was off, and sure enough, W had grade 2 IVH. I was devastated and cried the entire morning. It was a hard morning and relaying the news to his father was challenging, but the entire time, I held onto Sarah's note and kept rereading it. It was the most comforting thing to me and helped me get through the day. I don't think Sarah knows how much I appreciated that kind gesture, but it made such a difference in what was a difficult day for me.

Sarah truly is a remarkable nurse and person. She provided us with the most exceptional care, all of us, not just our son the patient. She goes out of her way to show compassion to families and do the best she can because she understands how challenging a NICU experience can be. Strangely enough, I will miss things about the NICU, but what I'll miss the most is seeing Sarah. Getting to connect with her, learn from her, and grow as a NICU mom with her help was more special than anything I could have ever imagined. As a family, we will never forget the NICU, or our favorite dedicated primary nurse Sarah, and what an exceptional friend she became to us.