Throughout life, people come and go in many different forms. Many don't leave much of a lasting impression, but some, those rare ones, they help save us. I was a patient in the STICU at CAMC General and fairly fresh out of an 18 hour surgery to basically remove the anterior portion of my neck due to a broken, infected tooth that made a valiant attempt to kill me, and begin the process of reconstruction. To say that I was terrified would be a gross understatement. In a life where I've always tried to be the glass-half-full type, the glass was now bone dry and shattered. With each staff member that came into my room, I would try to keep a smile and act like this was just a little speed bump in life. I would joke about my new neck and try to keep the tears from falling until they left the room. This was no speed bump, the road completely disappeared for me and there were moments when I welcomed death because this person in the mirror was unrecognizable.

Then, at the lowest point in life I've ever known, when I couldn't even see myself, someone saw me. From the second this nurse walked into my room, I knew what a special nurse and human being she was. I can't really put into words the impact she had on my physical and mental health. I felt like I could breathe for the first time since this nightmare started. The first time I had to really roll over after surgery to change the blood-stained sheets, I knew how much it was gonna hurt. I couldn't even raise my head or turn it or anything. Any little movement hurt more than anything I've ever felt in my life. I dreaded each and every time I would have to even attempt to move. She and I both knew it was gonna be terrible for me, medication or not. If you ever get to see her work and navigate through her day, you'll see how prepared and organized she works. She ensured every single thing they needed was there and ready so it could be done as quickly as possible. Those little characteristics may not seem like that big of a deal, but when it's you as the patient, it sure does. When it was time to roll, a rock could've moved more than me. I was completely at the mercy of them and my neck. She just leaned down and pretty much picked me up herself. She was never worried about hurting herself by lifting me. She just did it without hesitation while encouraging me the entire time. The tears then came rolling out of my eyes. It wasn't just the physical pain that brought those. It was also a realization that my life as I knew it was gone. It was like a train obliterated every thought of how my future was gonna be. She never wavered or gave in to her own discomfort. She let my head rest against her shoulder and cry the whole time.

She continued to treat me with dignity, respect, determination, and love. From painstakingly washing my hair, to helping me stand up the first time, to figuring out an effective pain control routine, to helping me bathe, to retrieving my Walmart order from the front lobby, she came through every single time and always made me feel like I was the only patient she had. I can't begin to tell you how important this nurse and those moments were for me, and my survival. At my weakest, she was literally and figuratively my strength. When I was questioning everything about life and wondering why God let this happen to me, He said "hang on, I've got you, her name is Nicole". And she had me, she held me up and carried me through this new existence. She has been one of the greatest blessings in my life, and I'm sure the lady with the lamp would be so proud of her!