I delivered my preemie newborn almost one month early via induction due to a sudden diagnosis of preeclampsia with severe features. At 4.4 pounds with a glucose level barely one quarter what it should have been, my brand-new baby, my first and only child was taken from my arms as I lay on the delivery table and brought to the NICU. With my blood pressure reaching the 170s, I was not permitted to visit my child and was told to worry first about my health.

My blood pressure evaded control for days. I was past the point of exhaustion. My husband feared I was succumbing to post-partum depression. Prevented from seeing my baby and unable to bond with him, sadness turned to apathy, and I was beginning to detach. Finally, the day came when I was allowed to visit the NICU to feed my baby. I was weary. I was scared with no knowledge or experience with babies, I was floundering helpless. I did not feel like a mother. At best I felt useless and irrelevant. At worst I felt malignant, a monster.

Kimberly changed that for me. She showed me that my baby did need me and that my presence soothed him; she convinced me that he was happier, calmer, and better when I was present. And during a time when my self-esteem was in the gutter and I couldn’t see how my presence could be beneficial to anyone, she helped me connect with my baby; she showed me that this helpless little creature needed me, and loved me. Her encouragement, patience, and support gave me confidence. I needed to show up for my baby. Kimberly showed me there was a place for me, and it was as his mother. She gave me back my baby and she gave me back myself. Thank you, Kimberly.