For a year now, I have wanted to reach out and figure out how to honor this nurse, but every time I thought about it, I ran from my feelings and buried them deeper. I figure, what better time than nurses' week!
Happy nurse's week to the L&D nurse who
•    Smiled at me when my heart was full of fear, sadness, and uncertainty
•    Sat on my bed and cried with me as you shared your story of loss. 
•    Asked me the names of my other children, and we quickly realized we had the same taste in names
•    Asked me what my baby’s name was. I didn’t know yet
•    Told me bluntly to give that baby a name so people can pray for him by name. We had a name in a few hours
•    Took my phone and recorded my baby’s heartbeat for us without me ever thinking about doing that
•    Encouraged me, talked to me, educated me, AND advocated for me (and J)
•    Came back the next day and asked to take care of me again for my procedure
•    Put a warm towel around my ears and top of my head to drown out the surgical sounds
•    Held my hand during the procedure and stayed close and talked to me to try to distract me as I was terrified of my water being broken or the surgery not being successful
•    Listened to me in post-op when I was in unbelievable pain
•    Advocated for me once again
•    Helped me get my medication before I went home on a Sunday when no one else had it. You begged your hospital’s pharmacy to compound it stat so I could start it immediately that night
•    Wore her ‘Emma’ necklace proudly- and now I have a necklace for my J

Everything you did for me those two days you took care of me will stay with me forever, not just as a patient but as a nurse. I often think of you when I think about J. I also think of you when caring for my patients who are not ‘happy’ scenarios.

You taught me so much about nursing do’s that I never knew I was missing. It’s what they can’t teach in schools. They may try, but until it’s experienced, it’s just another chapter in a book. You taught me how to better care for my patients who are in similar situations, to talk with them, that It’s okay to cry with them, to advocate and be their voice, to help them feel safe and protected while their world is spinning out of control. You taught me to slow down and listen, that it’s okay to be personal, and advocacy truly starts with the nurse. You weren’t scared to call a doctor beside you, and you were willing to be my voice when I needed it.

Thank you; you are a nurse I’ll truly never forget as long as I live. You deserve every award they make for nurses.

In loving memory of my sweet J.