When I first awoke in the PACU post op, I was surprised with terrible pain in both my eyes, they were burning like they were on fire; the area that I actually had surgery on, my nose/sinuses, was pain free. At first no one could really explain what was happening and why. Later it was determined that gauze threads had gotten into my eyes.  The intense burning pain I experienced was from severe bilateral corneal abrasions. 

My PACU nurse was Heather. For what felt like every few minutes, like an angel, she would help gently open my eye lids enough to flush my eyes with saline-it was the only thing that provided a little bit of relief. She helped soothe my fears and anxiety during this time with her calm and compassionate voice; initially, I was very scared, did not understand what was happening to my eyes, and worried about my vision, especially since the doctors did not have an explanation right away. For hours in PACU, Heather flushed my eyes, gave me ice packs and cool washcloths, administered pain medicine, and strongly advocated for me with the physician team. 

It was Heather and the doctor who put together a care plan to keep me at the hospital overnight so I could have hourly treatment in my eyes through the night, help with my pain, and ensure that the immense inflammation from the bilateral corneal abrasions showed improvement. 

No matter the questions and doubts a few providers/people had about what was happening to me and the pain I kept saying I was experiencing, Heather never doubted me and what I told her. She could tell I was legitimately in pain and scared. Heather heard me, trusted me, and understood from me the enormity of asking for extended care overnight in the hospital; it meant that I was leaving my two small children at home without me; the baby had not spent a night without me yet in her life.

Being a patient was an extremely humbling experience for me, and being without my sight for part of it made me feel even more vulnerable. Heather (and the nurses who helped when she was on her breaks) made me feel safe, human, important and heard. Even the PACU ANM checked on me multiple times throughout my recovery, making sure I knew he was there to help with anything I needed. Before I could feed myself, the nurses slipped ice chips and cold water into my mouth for me. They guided my hands to hold water cups, straws, a spoon, and a container of jello. They preserved my dignity by helping me figure out how to help myself without opening my eyes; they took the time to assist me out of bed to the bathroom so that I would not have to use a bedpan. 

The wild thing is I do not really know what Heather looks like. When I left the PACU for my hospital room, when I thanked her for everything she had done for me that day, Heather hugged me and thanked me for letting her care for me!! Even though I cannot describe her face well, I believe I know her voice, and I will forever remember her as my warrior nurse who heard me, believed me, and never stopped advocating for me to get the care I needed. I remain forever grateful for her huge heart and all that she did for me.