Dear Oncology, my time at Kaiser has been nothing short of transformative. I've learned so much about the human body, the inner workings of a hospital, and most importantly, the significance of empathy and compassion that you all gracefully carry with each patient interaction. Receiving life-changing news in the emergency department that resulted in paracentesis, tumor biopsy, PICC line installation, overnight hospital admission, failed sperm preservation, and the beginning of my R-Hyper-CVAD treatment all in the span of a few days was one of the scariest experiences of my life. Never did I think that something like this would happen to me, especially at the ripe age of twenty-two. I remember sitting in my hospital bed as the doctors asked me if I had been to any third-world country or if I had come in contact with any immunocompromising diseases. My mind was racing with confusion because, no, I hadn't been to any third-world countries, and, no, I didn't have HIV, and, no, I didn't have EBV. I didn't understand why this was happening to me, as someone who places such an emphasis on living a healthy lifestyle through the means of proper nutrition, consistent exercise, and acts of kindness.

In high school and college, I would be running at midnight to close my rings on my Apple Watch. None of it made sense, and it felt like everything I had worked towards in life was over. Once diagnosed, I had so much trouble deciphering what everything meant and how this was going to shape my future. For a full week, I was under the impression that I was going to be in the hospital for the next six months, receiving chemo every day. I thought to myself, there's no way I can do this, and for those seven days, I was contemplating the alternative of choosing death because I didn't think I was strong enough to handle this. Luckily, Dr. Wang and team helped me understand that no one could handle chemo every day for six months and that l would be allowed to leave the hospital in between treatments. From that point on, the battle seemed much more manageable, and I was determined to fight for myself and all the amazing people in my life.

Cycle 1 was incredibly painful, I inflated to 213lbs and then dropped to 168lbs all in the span of one week. I really thought and hoped I was going to be different, and my hair wasn't going to fall out. Instead, I am here on Cycle 8 with minimal eyebrows, basically no eyelashes, a bald head, and continued accelerating hair loss on my legs and arms. Each cycle introduced more and more nuisances that subsequently brought about waves of anxiety and confusion as to what was happening to my body. With each occurrence, a visit to the emergency department followed, and every time, I wish I could have simply walked upstairs to visit my friends in Oncology for help. The team up here continually brings a sense of comfort and expertise naturally. I feel support and a connection with the people here that parallels that of family. Each sleep-deprived night full of air bubbles and downstream occlusions was worth it because it was followed by a day of laughter and jokes with some of my favorite people. You listen to my terrible jokes, you let me tan outside in between chemo doses, so I didn't have to look as sick as I am, and so effortlessly change my sweaty PICC dressing after courtyard workouts with friends. You cheer me on as I perform my nightly speed-walking laps throughout the floor, and so swiftly lecture me after escaping the confines of oncology for an extended walk, which can't help but bring a smile to my face. Your bedside manner is unparalleled, and you have coached me through some of the toughest points of treatment. You have taken the time to get to know me, discovered what I am passionate about, positively engaged with my friends and family, and instilled a newfound appreciation for life in me. You all worked tirelessly to ensure that my chemo was administered as quickly as the pharmacy would allow because you knew I had a date with the outside world that I did not want to be late for. As terrifying as each visit can be, I was always excited by the idea that I got to see all of you and continually meet new and incredible people each cycle.

So, thank you, Oncology, for helping carry me throughout this journey to the top of the mountain, where I now get to ring the golden bell and leave 23andCancerFree. With all my love.