When people think of the worst thing that could happen, they immediately think of death. But that’s not the case. The hardest loss is one where the mind of your loved one has gone, but their body is left intact. Essentially, watching them become a stranger through dementia.

My memaw slowly worsened since her diagnosis. And unfortunately, it reached the point where she became combative. During her hospitalization, we could not be as present as we had liked. Living in Alabama and working in Birmingham Monday through Friday made it not feasible to drive to Rome daily. Every update just became draining and depressing.

Memaw ended up in wrist restraints for her own safety, refusing her medications, and constantly yelling for help. As a healthcare worker, I know all too well how difficult it is to care for patients like her. It is frustrating and heartbreaking simultaneously. One evening when I visited, this nurse was a nurse resident helping with her care. The previous nurses told us she was refusing her medication, and she had been for a few days. But when the time came, Madison was patient and explained the benefits of each medicine to Memaw and me.

After it didn’t work to get her to take her pills like normal, Madison had the idea of putting them in chocolate pudding. And it worked! She took her time and prioritized giving each one. After so many days of her refusing her medication, I felt relieved that she was a problem solver and was able to help us. I truly appreciate her willingness during a busy shift to take the extra time to give my precious Memaw the attention she needed. By the end of the shift, Memaw went from alert and oriented to herself, only to tell us the year.

I know it may not seem like a lot to some, but to a family who has had more bad days than good, we will take all of the positives we can get. Passing along this info to oncoming shifts made a huge difference in her care. My family is so thankful.